Then who is Chaos?
I don't know. Sometimes it seems he can be anyone of us.
And sometimes... not.
Ano acabou, hein?
Sim...
E ainda não fizemos nenhuma das listas e propostas de ano novo...
Sim...
E não vai ser hoje.
Não...
Temos que tomar o controle de verdade.
...Sim...
Que puta vontade de chorar.
Não foi um ano parado, pelo menos.
Talvez a transformação mais importante vai ser aprender a não se apegar tanto às pessoas e não deixar elas se apegarem a você. Ainda não sabemos.
Ainda bem que deu tudo certo na viagem e foi divertido.
Mas falta algo...
Divertido...?
Não consigo decidir se ficar sozinho seria melhor ou não...
Vontade de explodir tudo. Mas, pelo menos... pelo menos o céu ainda está lá pra gente. Sempre olhando.
E eu não quero voltar mais, às vezes dá saudade e dá vontade de olhar pra trás. Mas as memórias ficam no passado, a realidade vai ser o presente e não vai ser bonito. Chega uma hora que você tem que se levantar e escolher parar de tomar porrada por si mesmo. Por mais que doa a dor infinita...
Espero que dê tudo certo hoje à noite.
Vistam suas melhores máscaras, senhores. Termina hoje.
sábado, 31 de dezembro de 2011
quarta-feira, 21 de dezembro de 2011
Chrysantemum
There comes another one of those nights, huh?
Yeah... there it goes.
Patterns are so... interesting, yet so boring.
And scary.
Yeah, a bit. But just a bit.
Ano acabando.
Eu acho interessante como eu fico pensando e pensando em escrever algo, e na minha cabeça na hora parece muito legal de escrever. Daí eu chego aqui e... droga, sumiu.
Sumir, eu pensei muito nisso nesses últimos tempos, na verdade não é algo novo, mas eu nunca sumo. Não consigo achar direito a resposta, se é por covardia de fazer acontecer ou se é porque eu não gosto de desistir. Desistir é para os fracos.
Era pra ser algo mais simples...
Eu não consigo sentir ou eu não consigo saber o que eu sinto?
De uma certa forma, é certo que eu sou movido por raiva, porque essa pergunta me faz lembrar das pessoas que são espontâneas e eu as detesto. Por inferioridade. Na verdade existe uma lista imensa de coisas que eu odeio, ou detesto, não sei direito qual a palavra certa. Talvez... se vocês pudessem ver meus pensamentos, aí poderiam me dizer qual o certo...
I was...
Queria poder te dizer o quanto você é importante pra mim, queria que soubesse que essa pessoa confusa aí é a razão de eu esperar. Esperar nem que seja pra meramente vê-la sorrir. Isso já basta. É claro que quanto mais melhor, seria hipocrisia dizer que qualquer coisa além disso não importa.
Eu gosto do silêncio, é mais calmo. Essa é uma das coisas que mais me assusta inclusive, o fato de coisas que eu gosto geralmente deixarem as pessoas inquietas ou cheias de dúvidas. Talvez... talvez porque elas consigam ficar calmas por si só...
Eu não consigo, eu tenho um mundo imenso aqui dentro que clama por ação e não vai parar enquanto eu não conseguir arranjar algo que o faça entrar nos eixos. Claro, a morte é uma opção, mas é a última. E eu ainda tenho muitas pra tentar, mesmo que às vezes pareça que não.
Queria poder pegar sua mão e te mostrar tudo isso que eu criei. Eu queria mostrar isso pra muita gente, mas você é um caso especial, ou como eles dizem em algumas ocasiões, um caso de classe mais alta. Se você gostar, esse mundo vai evoluir ainda mais, é como... como se tudo que ele esperasse fosse alguém pra chegar e apreciá-lo.
É como se toda essa bagunça fosse meu jardim.
Um jardim invisível.
Guardado por muros bem altos (eu que fiz!).
Apenas alguns podem ver, e apenas quem eu quiser pode subir o muro. Fica mais difícil assim, mas vale a pena. Nem sempre vale, às vezes a gente quebra a cara... mas eu me recuso a aceitar que eu seja o único que consiga apreciar isso.
Fique tranquila, eles não podem te machucar. Apenas segure a minha mão e me faça companhia enquanto o mundo se cria ao nosso redor, porque é assim que tem que ser. Eles não aceitam que seja finalizado assim, sem a aprovação maior. Então é quase como uma guerra eterna em que flores e tiros são trocados diariamente. E vai crescendo, distorcendo...
Queria poder criar algo especificamente pra você, dentro desse mundo. Algo que marque de forma a mostrar quão importante você realmente é.
Por enquanto, eu me conformo em consumir toneladas de doces, me deixa feliz. Na verdade, calmo.
Even if it all ends...
Vai ser você. Apenas segure minha mão enquanto atravessamos o inferno, eu tenho tanto medo daqui quanto qualquer outra pessoa. Mas você não precisa ter, eles não querem te machucar, só querem... mostrar quem são. Hoje em dia é muito difícil.
É difícil sair vivo do julgamento. Mas se você não tentar, aos poucos você morre por dentro. Esmagado em culpa e remorso. Eles morreram, mas a sua presença aqui representa uma segunda chance, uma esperança.
Se eu te dissesse o que eu vejo como esperança, poderia ganhar um abraço?
Podíamos dormir sob as estrelas, basta me dizer quantas você quer que eu as coloco no céu, na quantidade exata. É uma das poucas horas que dá orgulho poder dizer "Eu mando aqui!". Eu sei, não deveria ser assim.
Talvez o problema... seja que eu saiba de muita coisa.
Me ajuda a não saber?
As in...
Talvez eu deva pedir desculpas...
Pra andar aqui você não precisava segurar minha mão, eu apenas criei isso para que acontecesse. O engraçado é que, mesmo sabendo disso você não solta.
Fico meio sem saber o que fazer...
Quer ir... aonde você quer ir?
Posso te mostrar o lugar mais bonito que eu criei aqui, eu poderia ter criado um agora assim que você respondesse o que você responderia, caso você fosse como qualquer outra...
Mas acho que assim é mais especial.
Vem comigo.
É possível que tudo isso acabe num piscar de olhos, então, só fica aqui do meu lado. Eu não sei como o jogo é jogado, e tenho medo de saber. Sei que muitas coisas têm sido destruídas ultimamente...
Mas você eles não podem destruir.
Eu não vou deixar.
Yeah... there it goes.
Patterns are so... interesting, yet so boring.
And scary.
Yeah, a bit. But just a bit.
Ano acabando.
Eu acho interessante como eu fico pensando e pensando em escrever algo, e na minha cabeça na hora parece muito legal de escrever. Daí eu chego aqui e... droga, sumiu.
Sumir, eu pensei muito nisso nesses últimos tempos, na verdade não é algo novo, mas eu nunca sumo. Não consigo achar direito a resposta, se é por covardia de fazer acontecer ou se é porque eu não gosto de desistir. Desistir é para os fracos.
Era pra ser algo mais simples...
Eu não consigo sentir ou eu não consigo saber o que eu sinto?
De uma certa forma, é certo que eu sou movido por raiva, porque essa pergunta me faz lembrar das pessoas que são espontâneas e eu as detesto. Por inferioridade. Na verdade existe uma lista imensa de coisas que eu odeio, ou detesto, não sei direito qual a palavra certa. Talvez... se vocês pudessem ver meus pensamentos, aí poderiam me dizer qual o certo...
I was...
Queria poder te dizer o quanto você é importante pra mim, queria que soubesse que essa pessoa confusa aí é a razão de eu esperar. Esperar nem que seja pra meramente vê-la sorrir. Isso já basta. É claro que quanto mais melhor, seria hipocrisia dizer que qualquer coisa além disso não importa.
Eu gosto do silêncio, é mais calmo. Essa é uma das coisas que mais me assusta inclusive, o fato de coisas que eu gosto geralmente deixarem as pessoas inquietas ou cheias de dúvidas. Talvez... talvez porque elas consigam ficar calmas por si só...
Eu não consigo, eu tenho um mundo imenso aqui dentro que clama por ação e não vai parar enquanto eu não conseguir arranjar algo que o faça entrar nos eixos. Claro, a morte é uma opção, mas é a última. E eu ainda tenho muitas pra tentar, mesmo que às vezes pareça que não.
Queria poder pegar sua mão e te mostrar tudo isso que eu criei. Eu queria mostrar isso pra muita gente, mas você é um caso especial, ou como eles dizem em algumas ocasiões, um caso de classe mais alta. Se você gostar, esse mundo vai evoluir ainda mais, é como... como se tudo que ele esperasse fosse alguém pra chegar e apreciá-lo.
É como se toda essa bagunça fosse meu jardim.
Um jardim invisível.
Guardado por muros bem altos (eu que fiz!).
Apenas alguns podem ver, e apenas quem eu quiser pode subir o muro. Fica mais difícil assim, mas vale a pena. Nem sempre vale, às vezes a gente quebra a cara... mas eu me recuso a aceitar que eu seja o único que consiga apreciar isso.
Fique tranquila, eles não podem te machucar. Apenas segure a minha mão e me faça companhia enquanto o mundo se cria ao nosso redor, porque é assim que tem que ser. Eles não aceitam que seja finalizado assim, sem a aprovação maior. Então é quase como uma guerra eterna em que flores e tiros são trocados diariamente. E vai crescendo, distorcendo...
Queria poder criar algo especificamente pra você, dentro desse mundo. Algo que marque de forma a mostrar quão importante você realmente é.
Por enquanto, eu me conformo em consumir toneladas de doces, me deixa feliz. Na verdade, calmo.
Even if it all ends...
Vai ser você. Apenas segure minha mão enquanto atravessamos o inferno, eu tenho tanto medo daqui quanto qualquer outra pessoa. Mas você não precisa ter, eles não querem te machucar, só querem... mostrar quem são. Hoje em dia é muito difícil.
É difícil sair vivo do julgamento. Mas se você não tentar, aos poucos você morre por dentro. Esmagado em culpa e remorso. Eles morreram, mas a sua presença aqui representa uma segunda chance, uma esperança.
Se eu te dissesse o que eu vejo como esperança, poderia ganhar um abraço?
Podíamos dormir sob as estrelas, basta me dizer quantas você quer que eu as coloco no céu, na quantidade exata. É uma das poucas horas que dá orgulho poder dizer "Eu mando aqui!". Eu sei, não deveria ser assim.
Talvez o problema... seja que eu saiba de muita coisa.
Me ajuda a não saber?
As in...
Talvez eu deva pedir desculpas...
Pra andar aqui você não precisava segurar minha mão, eu apenas criei isso para que acontecesse. O engraçado é que, mesmo sabendo disso você não solta.
Fico meio sem saber o que fazer...
Quer ir... aonde você quer ir?
Posso te mostrar o lugar mais bonito que eu criei aqui, eu poderia ter criado um agora assim que você respondesse o que você responderia, caso você fosse como qualquer outra...
Mas acho que assim é mais especial.
Vem comigo.
É possível que tudo isso acabe num piscar de olhos, então, só fica aqui do meu lado. Eu não sei como o jogo é jogado, e tenho medo de saber. Sei que muitas coisas têm sido destruídas ultimamente...
Mas você eles não podem destruir.
Eu não vou deixar.
quinta-feira, 15 de dezembro de 2011
Borders of Wickedness
Comecem a rezar.
There was, a voice. In fact, many of them, just speaking about... illogical things. Maybe they had some kind of logic into them, but no one could actually understand what were they talking about. It seemed like random babbling, moaning, screaming...
Some other language, perhaps. One that sounded good inside your head.
It's all... inside your head.
The steps were taken in direction to nowhere. I can remember his pain, because I could feel it. You can't feel it, he was, bleed-walking, as the funny guys said. The landscape... it was all so desert, so lonely, one's vision gets dark when in there, and that strange dark bloom effect...
It's always dark in there, even when we are out in the daylight.
He was screaming, haha, we were all screaming with the vision. I remember he carrying that strange object, much bigger than him, a dark and shapeless burden that crushed him down, his face bleeding with every step. Every step more coming out of him...
I feel like vomiting when I can remember the vision...
There's a place in hell that hasn't been there for a long time. Some may say it came here to earth, for it was bored of taking souls of sinful ones. But, aren't we ALL sinful...?!
"Repent from your sins, bitches", said the preacher. He carried guns, and a few memories of a strange fetish for sexually humiliating fellow humans. He ran to our city, to never be seen again. Some say he was a soul tortured by unholy creatures.
Others say, he was just clever.
Is it clever to destroy others? Once you step there, you find your answer. YOU FIND EEEEEVERY ANSWER... says the face that stares at you in your dreams. It's like one of those weird girls from japanese ghost movies, but her face is torn between a smile and hatred, and it spins...
Vomit is quite a constant in here. Because, everything is so... spontaneous!
There's always these steps... following you, everywhere you go. He knows you're here, and your fate is to die by his hands. He can't die, for he never lived. I can remember the bullets piercing him for no reason, or perhaps... was it him that pierced the bullets?
Why do we smile? Why do we laugh? Is it funny? IS THERE FUNNINESS IN LIFE?
That strange creature said there was. He murdered the weak ones.
Weakling, weaklings, bring me your babies and we'll make them dumplings...
That's the hit song that played at the maternity ward.
Ain't it strange? A place like this having a maternity ward?
There's everything in here. Hardcore version. Haha, I remember the day I DIED! And you're not different, I can feel the blood begging to leave your body...
We will accompany you... forever...
I wonder why do they always come into our city... out happy city... there's never... peace...
Even the walls bleed over here, the mirrors... I remember seeing their faces in the mirrors, they kept wailing, staring deep into my eyes...
You'll never see yourself again... but it's okay. You're ugly, you're a shame... just like everyone else. That's why He never lets us sleep. No one sleeps, see these eyes? They haven't seen... what?
AHAHAHAHA!
While we keep on stepping over their heads... these boys and girls, lying on the floor, the skulls cracking... but it's not our fault. NOT OUR FAULT! They are covering the floor, so we step on them, blood comes out of their mouths everytime. Why is there blood on their deceased bodies? I don't ever want to slip in this place.
I don't ever want to be in this place.
I didn't... ever... want...
WE. WANT. YOU.
Remember, you killed us. We came back. You're ours, forever. Crossing the streets. Buying ice cream.
My arms. MY ARMS!
They are weak, there's needles entering every inch of them, I don't feel them... I DON'T FEEL...
And he coughed a few fluids.
That was all.
Welcome.
There was, a voice. In fact, many of them, just speaking about... illogical things. Maybe they had some kind of logic into them, but no one could actually understand what were they talking about. It seemed like random babbling, moaning, screaming...
Some other language, perhaps. One that sounded good inside your head.
It's all... inside your head.
The steps were taken in direction to nowhere. I can remember his pain, because I could feel it. You can't feel it, he was, bleed-walking, as the funny guys said. The landscape... it was all so desert, so lonely, one's vision gets dark when in there, and that strange dark bloom effect...
It's always dark in there, even when we are out in the daylight.
He was screaming, haha, we were all screaming with the vision. I remember he carrying that strange object, much bigger than him, a dark and shapeless burden that crushed him down, his face bleeding with every step. Every step more coming out of him...
I feel like vomiting when I can remember the vision...
There's a place in hell that hasn't been there for a long time. Some may say it came here to earth, for it was bored of taking souls of sinful ones. But, aren't we ALL sinful...?!
"Repent from your sins, bitches", said the preacher. He carried guns, and a few memories of a strange fetish for sexually humiliating fellow humans. He ran to our city, to never be seen again. Some say he was a soul tortured by unholy creatures.
Others say, he was just clever.
Is it clever to destroy others? Once you step there, you find your answer. YOU FIND EEEEEVERY ANSWER... says the face that stares at you in your dreams. It's like one of those weird girls from japanese ghost movies, but her face is torn between a smile and hatred, and it spins...
Vomit is quite a constant in here. Because, everything is so... spontaneous!
There's always these steps... following you, everywhere you go. He knows you're here, and your fate is to die by his hands. He can't die, for he never lived. I can remember the bullets piercing him for no reason, or perhaps... was it him that pierced the bullets?
Why do we smile? Why do we laugh? Is it funny? IS THERE FUNNINESS IN LIFE?
That strange creature said there was. He murdered the weak ones.
Weakling, weaklings, bring me your babies and we'll make them dumplings...
That's the hit song that played at the maternity ward.
Ain't it strange? A place like this having a maternity ward?
There's everything in here. Hardcore version. Haha, I remember the day I DIED! And you're not different, I can feel the blood begging to leave your body...
We will accompany you... forever...
I wonder why do they always come into our city... out happy city... there's never... peace...
Even the walls bleed over here, the mirrors... I remember seeing their faces in the mirrors, they kept wailing, staring deep into my eyes...
You'll never see yourself again... but it's okay. You're ugly, you're a shame... just like everyone else. That's why He never lets us sleep. No one sleeps, see these eyes? They haven't seen... what?
AHAHAHAHA!
While we keep on stepping over their heads... these boys and girls, lying on the floor, the skulls cracking... but it's not our fault. NOT OUR FAULT! They are covering the floor, so we step on them, blood comes out of their mouths everytime. Why is there blood on their deceased bodies? I don't ever want to slip in this place.
I don't ever want to be in this place.
I didn't... ever... want...
WE. WANT. YOU.
Remember, you killed us. We came back. You're ours, forever. Crossing the streets. Buying ice cream.
My arms. MY ARMS!
They are weak, there's needles entering every inch of them, I don't feel them... I DON'T FEEL...
And he coughed a few fluids.
That was all.
Welcome.
domingo, 4 de dezembro de 2011
If we are marching to defeat...
I feel optimistic.
Glad to see you smile again. *pats head*
We are winning, right?
We are fighting back with all we got.
We... probably... are... going... to lose...
We are?!
There's a chance of winning, and twice as much chance of losing. But think of losing as a chance to seeing an alternate ending. It's a victory, a different way of finishing the game.
Like, Chrono Trigger?
Like Chrono Trigger.
When it's all over, are we going to play again?
As much as it's humanly possible. Actually, more than that.
Yay!
Do... not... hope...
Don't you worry about him, he's tired. Tomorrow is a new day to fight, we gotta get hardcore for the last battle.
I will make you proud of me!
It doesn't matter what comes next, I'm already proud of you.
He said he's proud of me...
That's all I wanted to hear. That's all I needed.
No man loses now.
Glad to see you smile again. *pats head*
We are winning, right?
We are fighting back with all we got.
We... probably... are... going... to lose...
We are?!
There's a chance of winning, and twice as much chance of losing. But think of losing as a chance to seeing an alternate ending. It's a victory, a different way of finishing the game.
Like, Chrono Trigger?
Like Chrono Trigger.
When it's all over, are we going to play again?
As much as it's humanly possible. Actually, more than that.
Yay!
Do... not... hope...
Don't you worry about him, he's tired. Tomorrow is a new day to fight, we gotta get hardcore for the last battle.
I will make you proud of me!
It doesn't matter what comes next, I'm already proud of you.
He said he's proud of me...
That's all I wanted to hear. That's all I needed.
No man loses now.
quinta-feira, 1 de dezembro de 2011
To the very fucking end
Até o fim.
É até lá que iremos lutar, até toda a luz se apagar e não tiver mais ninguém aqui.
Porque não importa o que aconteça, você está sempre sozinho né? É como ele disse, você se mantém na miséria. Sempre.
É engraçado como me dá vontade de chorar ver esses momentos épicos. É besteira. Sempre só besteira. Mas eu realmente fiquei feliz com a mensagem depois da prova. É como se... fosse um jogo. É como Gears...
Brothers to the end.
Eu devia parar com isso e simplesmente fazer as coisas normalmente, mas, eu não consigo, eu gosto de ver as coisas como um desafio, algo definitivo e impossível, com todas as chances contra nós (que é bem a ocasião no momento). É bom saber que tem gente lutando junto.
Mas, ainda tenho medo. Medo de que essas merda toda não valha a pena, que talvez fosse melhor eu simplesmente desistir e ficar aqui estudando e já começar a curtir minhas férias.
Como... das outras vezes... nunca vale a pena lutar...
Mas vai valer né?
Quer dizer, mesmo que... a gente perca, vai ter algum valor, né?
Por favor. Me diz que vai valer de alguma coisa isso tudo. Eu continuo pensando que, não importa o que aconteça, eu vou sentir orgulho de mim mesmo por ter lutado ao máximo.
Às vezes não é o suficiente...
E quando isso tudo acabar e tudo explodir, vamos voltar pro nosso mundo, e jogar videogame até nossos olhos explodirem. E vamos mesmo dessa vez, não vão poder nos parar.
E às vezes isso também não é o suficiente...
Me diz que vai valer a pena...
Ei, garoto. Acho que não vamos voltar pro nosso mundo...
Por que...?
Esse é o nosso mundo agora. Vamos lutar aqui.
To the end.
É até lá que iremos lutar, até toda a luz se apagar e não tiver mais ninguém aqui.
Porque não importa o que aconteça, você está sempre sozinho né? É como ele disse, você se mantém na miséria. Sempre.
É engraçado como me dá vontade de chorar ver esses momentos épicos. É besteira. Sempre só besteira. Mas eu realmente fiquei feliz com a mensagem depois da prova. É como se... fosse um jogo. É como Gears...
Brothers to the end.
Eu devia parar com isso e simplesmente fazer as coisas normalmente, mas, eu não consigo, eu gosto de ver as coisas como um desafio, algo definitivo e impossível, com todas as chances contra nós (que é bem a ocasião no momento). É bom saber que tem gente lutando junto.
Mas, ainda tenho medo. Medo de que essas merda toda não valha a pena, que talvez fosse melhor eu simplesmente desistir e ficar aqui estudando e já começar a curtir minhas férias.
Como... das outras vezes... nunca vale a pena lutar...
Mas vai valer né?
Quer dizer, mesmo que... a gente perca, vai ter algum valor, né?
Por favor. Me diz que vai valer de alguma coisa isso tudo. Eu continuo pensando que, não importa o que aconteça, eu vou sentir orgulho de mim mesmo por ter lutado ao máximo.
Às vezes não é o suficiente...
E quando isso tudo acabar e tudo explodir, vamos voltar pro nosso mundo, e jogar videogame até nossos olhos explodirem. E vamos mesmo dessa vez, não vão poder nos parar.
E às vezes isso também não é o suficiente...
Me diz que vai valer a pena...
Ei, garoto. Acho que não vamos voltar pro nosso mundo...
Por que...?
Esse é o nosso mundo agora. Vamos lutar aqui.
To the end.
domingo, 27 de novembro de 2011
Om nom nom
Shit...
So much to walk...
Looks like we haven't gotten out of zero, huh?
Om nom nom...
Fuck...
While he looks around, seeing his companion eating as if that was all the world had for him, and the long road ahead, the world gets compressed and expanded. Exploding, living, creating...
Where are they supposed to go anyway?
So much to walk...
Looks like we haven't gotten out of zero, huh?
Om nom nom...
Fuck...
While he looks around, seeing his companion eating as if that was all the world had for him, and the long road ahead, the world gets compressed and expanded. Exploding, living, creating...
Where are they supposed to go anyway?
quinta-feira, 17 de novembro de 2011
Not today
Nah, not today.
This is distraught. Let's just go.
Ok... but I could use a little conversation...
Just come.
This is distraught. Let's just go.
Ok... but I could use a little conversation...
Just come.
terça-feira, 15 de novembro de 2011
A weird way of seeing it
Sunday's inmost thought:
I just wanted to talk to someone...
Monday's not-as-inmost thought:
I wish they could play with for as long as I can play with them...
Tuesday's outcome:
It's... showtime...
I'll be honest. In case you decide it's better to hate me, go ahead. I don't know shit about the rules that dictate how relationships have to be. I'm just, trying to do what I wish they had done to me. Just telling the truth. And all this mess could have been prevented. We'll all go ahead. Don't worry if it hurts, it will go away as soon as it has to go.
—I would like to start the new round of thanksgiving, if you don't bother, my fine gentlemen.
—Sure, take the first shot.
—I would like to thank all the people who were there yesterday playing with us. You probably don't know how much it was important. It's been quite a long time since we last got the chance to play with friends like that. It may look stupid, and it probably is, but if there's one thing I learned with all these years, is that nothing has any value at all, unless we want it to have. Here's for many other moments like this one to come.
—Nice shot, sir. As our second guest, a thanksgiver coming from the lands of the north, a survivor of the War of Hatred.
—Heh... don't need all that. C'mon. So, as much as you know I ain't the first guy to say thanks, and... I ain't that wise when it comes to using words. I would like to give my most sincere thanks to the girl of the stories. Or Amy, whatever you prefer. I know, I know, saying names ain't the most polite habit in these reunions, but I just thought it would be nicer to really point out who should receive these honors. I don't really know what might have gone through her head while she helped us, but I'm just glad she was there. Thanks for the mere act of giving a shit and going there.
—Well spoken, very well spoken. My fine gentlemen, our third guest is a man from the old times, a returner who had been taken dead for months.
—I... fear my health may still be too fragile for such emotions but... I would like to thank those who formed the Magic Square with us. It's been such a long time... I remember how I felt that I wasn't much of a part of it. All these strange first impressions we have... in a way, we are always imature. I wish I could be on those conversations for more than a couple of hours. Thank you, my dear Magic Square companions.
—Our fourth and last speaker, Mr. Gruemeyr!
—Thank you all who held the bullets in these dark days... I'm sure it won't be long before we can breath again. Reunion... dismissed!
Applauses.
What?
I just wanted to talk to someone...
Monday's not-as-inmost thought:
I wish they could play with for as long as I can play with them...
Tuesday's outcome:
It's... showtime...
I'll be honest. In case you decide it's better to hate me, go ahead. I don't know shit about the rules that dictate how relationships have to be. I'm just, trying to do what I wish they had done to me. Just telling the truth. And all this mess could have been prevented. We'll all go ahead. Don't worry if it hurts, it will go away as soon as it has to go.
—I would like to start the new round of thanksgiving, if you don't bother, my fine gentlemen.
—Sure, take the first shot.
—I would like to thank all the people who were there yesterday playing with us. You probably don't know how much it was important. It's been quite a long time since we last got the chance to play with friends like that. It may look stupid, and it probably is, but if there's one thing I learned with all these years, is that nothing has any value at all, unless we want it to have. Here's for many other moments like this one to come.
—Nice shot, sir. As our second guest, a thanksgiver coming from the lands of the north, a survivor of the War of Hatred.
—Heh... don't need all that. C'mon. So, as much as you know I ain't the first guy to say thanks, and... I ain't that wise when it comes to using words. I would like to give my most sincere thanks to the girl of the stories. Or Amy, whatever you prefer. I know, I know, saying names ain't the most polite habit in these reunions, but I just thought it would be nicer to really point out who should receive these honors. I don't really know what might have gone through her head while she helped us, but I'm just glad she was there. Thanks for the mere act of giving a shit and going there.
—Well spoken, very well spoken. My fine gentlemen, our third guest is a man from the old times, a returner who had been taken dead for months.
—I... fear my health may still be too fragile for such emotions but... I would like to thank those who formed the Magic Square with us. It's been such a long time... I remember how I felt that I wasn't much of a part of it. All these strange first impressions we have... in a way, we are always imature. I wish I could be on those conversations for more than a couple of hours. Thank you, my dear Magic Square companions.
—Our fourth and last speaker, Mr. Gruemeyr!
—Thank you all who held the bullets in these dark days... I'm sure it won't be long before we can breath again. Reunion... dismissed!
Applauses.
What?
sábado, 12 de novembro de 2011
War is all we know...
Holy crap.
I'm getting too fucking emotional sometimes.
Meeeemories...
Make me want to go back there...
All the meeeeemories...
Make me want to go back there...
Shit. I gotta, make it worth it.
I'm going to study, that's what's going to happen, and then, I'll have a lot of time to play and get fucking insane.
And it WILL BE WORTH IT!
It doesn't matter whether everytime we tried to make an effort before ended in deception. I just need ONE victory. Only one.
I have a lot of things to write about... damn.
Been talking to a lot of people. This is good. Everytime I spend too much time alone I get back to the sinking stage. But I don't have the guts to keep on asking people to walk around with me...
Thanks to all of you.
This is for you.
I'm getting too fucking emotional sometimes.
Meeeemories...
Make me want to go back there...
All the meeeeemories...
Make me want to go back there...
Shit. I gotta, make it worth it.
I'm going to study, that's what's going to happen, and then, I'll have a lot of time to play and get fucking insane.
And it WILL BE WORTH IT!
It doesn't matter whether everytime we tried to make an effort before ended in deception. I just need ONE victory. Only one.
I have a lot of things to write about... damn.
Been talking to a lot of people. This is good. Everytime I spend too much time alone I get back to the sinking stage. But I don't have the guts to keep on asking people to walk around with me...
Thanks to all of you.
This is for you.
terça-feira, 8 de novembro de 2011
Meet Nine of Spades
It's funny...
I don't know what, but I just find everything so funny. It's funny, isn't it?
I see you there sitting at your chair, waiting for the judgement. The light illuminates only you. You don't run. If people mistake, they have to pay, right?
There has to always be some kind of payment.
I have my cards.
I know you think they'll fail, but I still trust them.
There's just a few cards in your hand.
But I've gotten King of Clubs, Nine of Spades, Six of Hearts, and a few more to reveal.
It comes with a boom, it goes with a bang. I like that phrase. It's something like that actually...
So... you've got some info to give us...
I... I felt a bit ridiculous. In fact I was feeling it was a mistake. But after we started to talk, it didn't feel that bad, it was just, a bit awkward because... I felt childish. It was like, you know, like...
I always feel stupid when I speak about these things, because I feel people either don't care or feel it's not that much of a problem. Though I know I tend to increase problems dramatically, but still...
I feel stupid to know that I already know what has to be done. But I think too much, way too much. I feel stupid when I think about of all the times I think about vengeance. I feel ridiculous, and childish.
Wish I could play my games and forget it a bit.
I just have to be aware of my situation, right? When I get too alone and start to think about bad things, I gotta look for company. There will be someone out there to talk to me.
That's me, or... what I made me become. That's how unreasonable it got. That's... sad.
Sometimes it feels hard to breath.
I don't know what, but I just find everything so funny. It's funny, isn't it?
I see you there sitting at your chair, waiting for the judgement. The light illuminates only you. You don't run. If people mistake, they have to pay, right?
There has to always be some kind of payment.
I have my cards.
I know you think they'll fail, but I still trust them.
There's just a few cards in your hand.
But I've gotten King of Clubs, Nine of Spades, Six of Hearts, and a few more to reveal.
It comes with a boom, it goes with a bang. I like that phrase. It's something like that actually...
So... you've got some info to give us...
I... I felt a bit ridiculous. In fact I was feeling it was a mistake. But after we started to talk, it didn't feel that bad, it was just, a bit awkward because... I felt childish. It was like, you know, like...
I always feel stupid when I speak about these things, because I feel people either don't care or feel it's not that much of a problem. Though I know I tend to increase problems dramatically, but still...
I feel stupid to know that I already know what has to be done. But I think too much, way too much. I feel stupid when I think about of all the times I think about vengeance. I feel ridiculous, and childish.
Wish I could play my games and forget it a bit.
I just have to be aware of my situation, right? When I get too alone and start to think about bad things, I gotta look for company. There will be someone out there to talk to me.
That's me, or... what I made me become. That's how unreasonable it got. That's... sad.
Sometimes it feels hard to breath.
segunda-feira, 7 de novembro de 2011
Mangonel
I, I had a good dream today!
Really? What was it?
I saw my friends playing Tales of Symphonia. Like, the good old days. And, I could see them! Even though the game looked different, it was just more awesome!
Looks like... even though we may not play anymore...
Even though there may be no one else feeling this...
We are still born to play.
It doesn't matter if we can't beat records or win championships.
What really matters, is that we carry it in our hearts. We miss playing. We dream with it. We feel it. We can see moments in games where tears just throw themselves frantically. Silently, we still hold the flag. For all those moments that made us who we are. It's hard not to cry when you hear the songs of all these times. It doesn't matter whether we did or not finish these games.
Guess that's love, right? Even if it's not aimed at a person. Even if it makes us ridiculous. And nerdy.
Fuck man, it's hard to sleep this way.
Really? What was it?
I saw my friends playing Tales of Symphonia. Like, the good old days. And, I could see them! Even though the game looked different, it was just more awesome!
Looks like... even though we may not play anymore...
Even though there may be no one else feeling this...
We are still born to play.
It doesn't matter if we can't beat records or win championships.
What really matters, is that we carry it in our hearts. We miss playing. We dream with it. We feel it. We can see moments in games where tears just throw themselves frantically. Silently, we still hold the flag. For all those moments that made us who we are. It's hard not to cry when you hear the songs of all these times. It doesn't matter whether we did or not finish these games.
Guess that's love, right? Even if it's not aimed at a person. Even if it makes us ridiculous. And nerdy.
Fuck man, it's hard to sleep this way.
quinta-feira, 3 de novembro de 2011
Something more
Acho engraçado como algumas pessoas quando entram no msn chamam tanto a minha atenção. Interessante como nos apegamos mais a algumas pessoas.
The point was, actually...
To her, the little one...
I feel like I have to apologize. I did all I could to try to see you happy, I wanted you to succeed, I wanted you to defeat your fears. It was so much like what I was, and I know it can be defeated. It pissed me off sometimes, seeing you just crawl back to your shell, so scared of fighting back. You're beautiful and you're kind. And you're a very nice person too. AND, you like to play games, I see that this is not such a rare feature in girls nowadays, BUT, it is still uncommon. You're getting better now, I'm glad you're advancing. Please don't give up.
The apologizing part was because of a dream I had today. I hurt you. I know it's just a dream, but it came also as a scary face of the monster I've created. I can't make you pay for the mistakes of other girls. It probably wouldn't happen here in the real world, but it made me feel bad. I gotta get back to trusting women again.
To her, the friendly thought...
I will someday find you. And if I don't, I'll have already gotten strong enough not to go back to Despair Heights. At the moment, I doubt I would be able to treat you the way you should be treated. You trust me, so I want to trust you. Some other day I'll get here and write a few things you deserve to read. In fact, you deserve to listen these, from the mouth of someone who would fight hell if it was made necessary. I carry thy smile within me. It may not make me smile everytime while I face this world. But it sure as hell makes it lot more attractive. I may not think about you all the time, hatred still demands a lot in my head. And it probably will be like this 'til I die. I don't like to promise the world and say that I think about you all the time and all that stuff. I feel like it's a lie. And I don't like to lie to you. I feel like you understand what does it mean when I say that your hug alone makes my failed sleeping nights all worth it. It means the world, in fact, it means something not that tainted, well, you get it.
One day, I'll find you and we'll make it worth all this mess.
I've already apologized to the other ones.
The ones that made apologizing a reality. It's pretty much over right now.
Let the takeover begin.
The point was, actually...
To her, the little one...
I feel like I have to apologize. I did all I could to try to see you happy, I wanted you to succeed, I wanted you to defeat your fears. It was so much like what I was, and I know it can be defeated. It pissed me off sometimes, seeing you just crawl back to your shell, so scared of fighting back. You're beautiful and you're kind. And you're a very nice person too. AND, you like to play games, I see that this is not such a rare feature in girls nowadays, BUT, it is still uncommon. You're getting better now, I'm glad you're advancing. Please don't give up.
The apologizing part was because of a dream I had today. I hurt you. I know it's just a dream, but it came also as a scary face of the monster I've created. I can't make you pay for the mistakes of other girls. It probably wouldn't happen here in the real world, but it made me feel bad. I gotta get back to trusting women again.
To her, the friendly thought...
I will someday find you. And if I don't, I'll have already gotten strong enough not to go back to Despair Heights. At the moment, I doubt I would be able to treat you the way you should be treated. You trust me, so I want to trust you. Some other day I'll get here and write a few things you deserve to read. In fact, you deserve to listen these, from the mouth of someone who would fight hell if it was made necessary. I carry thy smile within me. It may not make me smile everytime while I face this world. But it sure as hell makes it lot more attractive. I may not think about you all the time, hatred still demands a lot in my head. And it probably will be like this 'til I die. I don't like to promise the world and say that I think about you all the time and all that stuff. I feel like it's a lie. And I don't like to lie to you. I feel like you understand what does it mean when I say that your hug alone makes my failed sleeping nights all worth it. It means the world, in fact, it means something not that tainted, well, you get it.
One day, I'll find you and we'll make it worth all this mess.
I've already apologized to the other ones.
The ones that made apologizing a reality. It's pretty much over right now.
Let the takeover begin.
Uma canção de ninar
Muitas correntes pra quebrar, muitas correntes...
Gosto da sensação de estar indo pra um lugar.
Todos gostamos né?
É bom, dá um pouco de medo pensar que talvez não tenha lugar nenhum.
E se não tiver?
A gente cria.
E se eles não gostarem da gente?
Faremos uma careta e daremos as costas à eles.
E se nos machucarem?
Oras, você sabe que você aguenta muito mais do que o que eles podem fazer.
Você não fica com medo?
Só quando eu penso que vamos parar de andar.
A gente machucou muita gente?
Duvido, você não consegue.
É...
Vai ficar tudo bem, vamos sair daqui.
Admitir os erros.
Considerar os acertos.
Vestir a melhor armadura.
Preparar pra errar de novo...
E vamos... errar mil vezes?
No mínimo.
E se errarmos mais?
Levantaremos mais do que errarmos, é só isso.
Me sinto meio ridículo.
Todos somos, todos estamos com medo.
Medo...
Agarramos os pescoços dos outros numa tentativa desesperada de não afogar, e aí afundamos eles também. Mas você pode fazer diferente.
Eu não gosto disso...
Não gosta da cobrança de ser melhor e ver que você é pior.
Vamos ter companhia?
Mais do que tudo aquilo que você criou.
E, eles vão ser legais?
Mais do que tudo aquilo que você desejou.
A gente pode fazer coisas legais?
Mais do que tudo aquilo que você sonhou.
Posso dormir com companhia?
Apenas se pedir.
Poder sonhar...
Poder matar...
E mais um dia querer acordar.
Gosto da sensação de estar indo pra um lugar.
Todos gostamos né?
É bom, dá um pouco de medo pensar que talvez não tenha lugar nenhum.
E se não tiver?
A gente cria.
E se eles não gostarem da gente?
Faremos uma careta e daremos as costas à eles.
E se nos machucarem?
Oras, você sabe que você aguenta muito mais do que o que eles podem fazer.
Você não fica com medo?
Só quando eu penso que vamos parar de andar.
A gente machucou muita gente?
Duvido, você não consegue.
É...
Vai ficar tudo bem, vamos sair daqui.
Admitir os erros.
Considerar os acertos.
Vestir a melhor armadura.
Preparar pra errar de novo...
E vamos... errar mil vezes?
No mínimo.
E se errarmos mais?
Levantaremos mais do que errarmos, é só isso.
Me sinto meio ridículo.
Todos somos, todos estamos com medo.
Medo...
Agarramos os pescoços dos outros numa tentativa desesperada de não afogar, e aí afundamos eles também. Mas você pode fazer diferente.
Eu não gosto disso...
Não gosta da cobrança de ser melhor e ver que você é pior.
Vamos ter companhia?
Mais do que tudo aquilo que você criou.
E, eles vão ser legais?
Mais do que tudo aquilo que você desejou.
A gente pode fazer coisas legais?
Mais do que tudo aquilo que você sonhou.
Posso dormir com companhia?
Apenas se pedir.
Poder sonhar...
Poder matar...
E mais um dia querer acordar.
segunda-feira, 31 de outubro de 2011
A way out of nowhere
Explosions everywhere...
—Looks amazing, huh?!
—What do you mean?
—This... confusion. It's different from what we had before, I believe we are in the right way this time!
—Looks like so...
—No, it FEELS like so! Ain't it weird to feel?
They laugh happily.
I can't deny I'm afraid. But, who cares... fear is just, the start of things. If you don't get past the start, it will never end.
He's mad.
But I still like to see that smile on your face.
Soon enough, the captain of S.S. Troublemaker will show up.
Consider... your purposes defeated.
Marks, marks, marks.
Running with blood on t heir mouths. Screaming, bleeding like the plague. Free. Free of what? We are clashing each other for the sake of seeing our fellow hurt. Stop, stop. Or let us stop you. Please, please let me shoot.
Soon they will show their dreadful faces.
I want to scream, how do I do it?
Hold, hold, hold.
Hug, hug, hug.
You said, bug? But? Butt? Bust? Burst?
No, I just wanted hug.
Can sleep now.
—Looks amazing, huh?!
—What do you mean?
—This... confusion. It's different from what we had before, I believe we are in the right way this time!
—Looks like so...
—No, it FEELS like so! Ain't it weird to feel?
They laugh happily.
I can't deny I'm afraid. But, who cares... fear is just, the start of things. If you don't get past the start, it will never end.
He's mad.
But I still like to see that smile on your face.
Soon enough, the captain of S.S. Troublemaker will show up.
Consider... your purposes defeated.
Marks, marks, marks.
Running with blood on t heir mouths. Screaming, bleeding like the plague. Free. Free of what? We are clashing each other for the sake of seeing our fellow hurt. Stop, stop. Or let us stop you. Please, please let me shoot.
Soon they will show their dreadful faces.
I want to scream, how do I do it?
Hold, hold, hold.
Hug, hug, hug.
You said, bug? But? Butt? Bust? Burst?
No, I just wanted hug.
Can sleep now.
sexta-feira, 28 de outubro de 2011
Roses... thorns... slumber
I should be sleeping by now, but I already feel like it's going to take too long to get to sleep. And I started to think about something, normally I get to sleep easier when I write so I decided to already get to write it. We know how it works, let's try to get some advantage over.
I sometimes have the idea of walking around random places, and whenever I see someone sad, or looking sad, I don't know, I have the image in my head of someone sitting somewhere looking down, I guess the default vision of sadness. Well, anyway, whenever I see someone sad, I'd give this person a rose, so I'd be walking around with lots of roses, perhaps in a backpack, perhaps in my hand, but most probably in a backpack, and I'd give them. I'm not selling, I don't need the money. Actually, I don't even know why would I be doing this...
It just feels, right.
The idea first came regarding girls only. I feel it's a bit awkward to give roses to guys, but who knows. Maybe it can be helpful for them also, perhaps an old man who lost his hope.
Is it just a weird trick to get company or attention or whatever-the-fuck-can-be-inserted-in-here? I don't know. It's an old idea that sometimes passes by. I don't execute because I suppose it might give more problems than good results, maybe...
Who knows what may come out right?
Maybe there's jealous weirdos out there who will come with a gun blow my brains.
I then think that if I get to CHANGE one's day, then it's already worth it. I don't know, is it?
If you get to think about the blowing brains part, it's... just more sacrifice for people... and we already sacrificed so much...
I understand their positions too, it's weird to have a weird guy giving a rose to your girlfriend. It feels a bit bad indeed.
I don't know, I wish I could execute these things. Is there someone else out there who can help solve this?
If you get to think about it, this place is looking a lot like those... boards where you find new quests in those games you play man.
I miss playing...
We all do.
Hope this helps me to sleep.
I sometimes have the idea of walking around random places, and whenever I see someone sad, or looking sad, I don't know, I have the image in my head of someone sitting somewhere looking down, I guess the default vision of sadness. Well, anyway, whenever I see someone sad, I'd give this person a rose, so I'd be walking around with lots of roses, perhaps in a backpack, perhaps in my hand, but most probably in a backpack, and I'd give them. I'm not selling, I don't need the money. Actually, I don't even know why would I be doing this...
It just feels, right.
The idea first came regarding girls only. I feel it's a bit awkward to give roses to guys, but who knows. Maybe it can be helpful for them also, perhaps an old man who lost his hope.
Is it just a weird trick to get company or attention or whatever-the-fuck-can-be-inserted-in-here? I don't know. It's an old idea that sometimes passes by. I don't execute because I suppose it might give more problems than good results, maybe...
Who knows what may come out right?
Maybe there's jealous weirdos out there who will come with a gun blow my brains.
I then think that if I get to CHANGE one's day, then it's already worth it. I don't know, is it?
If you get to think about the blowing brains part, it's... just more sacrifice for people... and we already sacrificed so much...
I understand their positions too, it's weird to have a weird guy giving a rose to your girlfriend. It feels a bit bad indeed.
I don't know, I wish I could execute these things. Is there someone else out there who can help solve this?
If you get to think about it, this place is looking a lot like those... boards where you find new quests in those games you play man.
I miss playing...
We all do.
Hope this helps me to sleep.
quarta-feira, 26 de outubro de 2011
The takeover
"Que isso cara, você é dono da sua cabeça, mostra quem é que manda nessa budega"
—Looks like we have a lot of work to do, boys!
—Hella' lotta' work...
—And we are tiiiiired...
—...This ain't gonna be easy.
It's pretty much as if Hanitarian or anyone else of his kind became a god over here... Damn. We'll have to fight our way through all the barriers we've allowed them to create.
Why...?
This is going to be long. Way too fucking long.
Why can't we do it as normal people do...?
But the throne is yours, sir. It's been yours ever since you were born. We have to, and we will, take that back. It's the righteous quest we all were waiting for, ain't it?
As invisible hands pound the piano, making the same awkward note sound through the whole world, we look at each other. Looks like... I'll need more help than I thought I would.
It sends chills down my spine. It's scary to think that there's just so much to be done and perhaps we won't make it out alive. So much...
Don't you feel like crying when you get to think about all the bad things you've done? Don't the tears ask to fall when you remember that you will have to fix it all and risk yourself again? It's...
It's here...
He's smiling at us...
He's gonna kill us...
I... I feel like watching horror movies, but I should be studying... I feel like walking around in the rain, just for the sake of it, but I can't. I can't do all these things that I think that would me happy. I have to study. It will pass, right? The sacrifice is worth it, right? I NEED TO BELIEVE IT IS. PLEASE, TELL ME IT IS. MAKE IT BE WORTH IT. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.
I can't ask for help... It would be too stupid... For many reasons... I'd probably not change so fast and thus, it would seem like it was useless. I want different help, something that my head did not foresee, something new, something that I wouldn't have told myself earlier. I...
Don't know exactly who should I run for...
I can't ask people to be there for me, I can't ask them to sacrifice themselves for me... This angers me because I sacrificed myself for 'em before...
What do we do...?
Help me take over what's mine by right...
—Looks like we have a lot of work to do, boys!
—Hella' lotta' work...
—And we are tiiiiired...
—...This ain't gonna be easy.
It's pretty much as if Hanitarian or anyone else of his kind became a god over here... Damn. We'll have to fight our way through all the barriers we've allowed them to create.
Why...?
This is going to be long. Way too fucking long.
Why can't we do it as normal people do...?
But the throne is yours, sir. It's been yours ever since you were born. We have to, and we will, take that back. It's the righteous quest we all were waiting for, ain't it?
As invisible hands pound the piano, making the same awkward note sound through the whole world, we look at each other. Looks like... I'll need more help than I thought I would.
It sends chills down my spine. It's scary to think that there's just so much to be done and perhaps we won't make it out alive. So much...
Don't you feel like crying when you get to think about all the bad things you've done? Don't the tears ask to fall when you remember that you will have to fix it all and risk yourself again? It's...
It's here...
He's smiling at us...
He's gonna kill us...
I... I feel like watching horror movies, but I should be studying... I feel like walking around in the rain, just for the sake of it, but I can't. I can't do all these things that I think that would me happy. I have to study. It will pass, right? The sacrifice is worth it, right? I NEED TO BELIEVE IT IS. PLEASE, TELL ME IT IS. MAKE IT BE WORTH IT. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.
I can't ask for help... It would be too stupid... For many reasons... I'd probably not change so fast and thus, it would seem like it was useless. I want different help, something that my head did not foresee, something new, something that I wouldn't have told myself earlier. I...
Don't know exactly who should I run for...
I can't ask people to be there for me, I can't ask them to sacrifice themselves for me... This angers me because I sacrificed myself for 'em before...
What do we do...?
Help me take over what's mine by right...
sexta-feira, 21 de outubro de 2011
The cast
So, as might not have been noted, some things got quite (even more) out of balance. So, just in case (get the real emphasis on just in case) there's people out there who can do something, we'll see.
We have some job opportunities in here, and anyone with any kind of experience related can apply. Neat, huh?
First. Can someone help me in dealing with money? I... get a bit obsessed with not losing money and it sometimes (many times actually) takes the fun of moments away...
Second. Can someone walk around with me? No special circuit in mind though, just, walking around through the city randomly, one block after another.
Third. Can someone help me to study? I want to do it, I can get a bit of motivation from myself alone, but sometimes it seems it would be easier if there was someone else. I don't know, it just cheers us up.
Fourth. Can someone listen to me? This one is just for the hardcore.
Fifth. Can someone play with me? I want to write a piece of a story, and then someone continues, and then I continue... you got the point. That's just the first game, though.
Sixth. Can someone give me a surprise? A good one that is.
Easier to be imagined.
But I just won't write it the way I thought. No, too childish.
We have some job opportunities in here, and anyone with any kind of experience related can apply. Neat, huh?
First. Can someone help me in dealing with money? I... get a bit obsessed with not losing money and it sometimes (many times actually) takes the fun of moments away...
Second. Can someone walk around with me? No special circuit in mind though, just, walking around through the city randomly, one block after another.
Third. Can someone help me to study? I want to do it, I can get a bit of motivation from myself alone, but sometimes it seems it would be easier if there was someone else. I don't know, it just cheers us up.
Fourth. Can someone listen to me? This one is just for the hardcore.
Fifth. Can someone play with me? I want to write a piece of a story, and then someone continues, and then I continue... you got the point. That's just the first game, though.
Sixth. Can someone give me a surprise? A good one that is.
Easier to be imagined.
But I just won't write it the way I thought. No, too childish.
And we'll change the sky to orange
Yawn.
Haha.
Well, guess what? Yeah, not sleeping again.
But it's quite fine, I ain't forcing it anymore. So... let's see what should we have wrote earlier today. Hm...
I don't know, it's funny, because I'm happy. Today I had a glance of ''what goes around, comes around'', in a good way. Nice to see some efforts rewarded, I'm positively sure we'll get to end our duty in due time!
Not to thank properly, might be what's coming back at you...
I wonder, is it due to my aversion to changes that I'm unable to see the rain green? Because, I managed to see the orange sky and the blue trees (I must say, they are pretty). I can even sometimes get an idea of what would it be like in case the ground was yellow and the green water was piece of cake. But, when it's not that stationary water... when it's the rain that strikes your car windows, I absolutely can't see it. It can't be green, that would change way too much, right? Because we wouldn't be able to see and thus no one would be driving in the rain.
I just thought now, teardrops. They would be weird in green...
Quite positive, sir!
Quite positive that we are indeed going to get insane if we don't get to sleep, that's what's in. So... I've been wondering, should we go and put an end to this? I said I wouldn't bruise her, so I can just make her go away, right?
Who knows. I'm still wondering, but they say wondering is bad, you got to act. But acting without a proper debriefing is very bad. Stepping on shallow grounds isn't what clever man do.
But we are not clever.
One thought I've developed lately! When you feel you're afraid of doing something, just do it! Fear is dangerous. It's interesting because you get to force yourself into doing it. I guess it just works for me...
See, because everyone else is alone in their heads, they don't have their tyrants to give them orders.
Wow... what a pity, huh...?
Doesn't matter how many creatures you manage to create, you're still alone. But, aren't we all alone in this world anyway? Guess so. A thing I've been thinking lately, perhaps people just don't care to research about things anymore and just rant randomly and accept any information others throw at them because, well, there may be too much info to process in the world nowadays. That means, humans have reached their limits and from now on everyone will just react randomly to things, as if their truth was as simple as ''oh, I saw that in someone's wall at Facebook". There are some other sides of the dice to be seen, but that's it for now.
Can I say coins have three sides? Because, there's the one with the number, the other with the random shit, and there's the... side that's not flat, amidst the other two.
Sure, I'd LOVE to have a nice company these days, but, would the nice company stand chaos? Haaaard to answer that.
Have I changed? Even it was just a little bit. I don't know, hope someone gets to answer this one.
You see.
Look at the window sometimes, there may be something out there looking at you.
Maybe...
Haha.
Well, guess what? Yeah, not sleeping again.
But it's quite fine, I ain't forcing it anymore. So... let's see what should we have wrote earlier today. Hm...
I don't know, it's funny, because I'm happy. Today I had a glance of ''what goes around, comes around'', in a good way. Nice to see some efforts rewarded, I'm positively sure we'll get to end our duty in due time!
Not to thank properly, might be what's coming back at you...
I wonder, is it due to my aversion to changes that I'm unable to see the rain green? Because, I managed to see the orange sky and the blue trees (I must say, they are pretty). I can even sometimes get an idea of what would it be like in case the ground was yellow and the green water was piece of cake. But, when it's not that stationary water... when it's the rain that strikes your car windows, I absolutely can't see it. It can't be green, that would change way too much, right? Because we wouldn't be able to see and thus no one would be driving in the rain.
I just thought now, teardrops. They would be weird in green...
Quite positive, sir!
Quite positive that we are indeed going to get insane if we don't get to sleep, that's what's in. So... I've been wondering, should we go and put an end to this? I said I wouldn't bruise her, so I can just make her go away, right?
Who knows. I'm still wondering, but they say wondering is bad, you got to act. But acting without a proper debriefing is very bad. Stepping on shallow grounds isn't what clever man do.
But we are not clever.
One thought I've developed lately! When you feel you're afraid of doing something, just do it! Fear is dangerous. It's interesting because you get to force yourself into doing it. I guess it just works for me...
See, because everyone else is alone in their heads, they don't have their tyrants to give them orders.
Wow... what a pity, huh...?
Doesn't matter how many creatures you manage to create, you're still alone. But, aren't we all alone in this world anyway? Guess so. A thing I've been thinking lately, perhaps people just don't care to research about things anymore and just rant randomly and accept any information others throw at them because, well, there may be too much info to process in the world nowadays. That means, humans have reached their limits and from now on everyone will just react randomly to things, as if their truth was as simple as ''oh, I saw that in someone's wall at Facebook". There are some other sides of the dice to be seen, but that's it for now.
Can I say coins have three sides? Because, there's the one with the number, the other with the random shit, and there's the... side that's not flat, amidst the other two.
Sure, I'd LOVE to have a nice company these days, but, would the nice company stand chaos? Haaaard to answer that.
Have I changed? Even it was just a little bit. I don't know, hope someone gets to answer this one.
You see.
Look at the window sometimes, there may be something out there looking at you.
Maybe...
segunda-feira, 17 de outubro de 2011
Eating and thinking
—Om nom nom!
—Heh... I'm glad this day is over!
—WHY? *chew chew*
—I'm tired.
—*Chomp* Here! Eat this! It's tastelicious! *chew chew*
—Haha, not hungry here.
—Aww... but, try it!
—...
—Come ooooon! One piece of it! Just one!
—Okay, gimme.
This was a rather strange day. I didn't get to sleep much this night, didn't even bother trying much anyway, I know about the Sunday's Sleepless Curse, so I'm not going to force myself into it.
Still, I woke up very... awake. Didn't feel like sleeping during class or wishing for it to end as soon as possible, got energy to handle my duties well. That was... weird.
I've been thinking a lot lately, oh well, in some things I guess. Remember the girl from the other post who I wanted to bruise? She... kinda made a surprise appearance, though not physically, she just left a gift. I was told to explode it and record on video, and then send the video to her. Well, that looks far too childish. I'd rather leave it silent as if nothing happened. I don't know exactly, if someone comes up with a better option, I'm accepting suggestions.
I also found an argument that could bring an end to my special money trick. But that's going to be discussed a lot before being approved.
Wondering, wondering...
Psychologist told me things.
Wondering...
Well! I'm enjoying my good mood, today I managed to see the grass and the trees blue! But I still can't see the sky orange, or the ground yellow.
I miss my horror movies...
Whenever nightmares come, you gotta remember that you are still alive, and, sooner or later, they have to go away. My stance toward nightmares is unnatural, since I got used to them. It's always dark... but don't let them fool you. You're bigger than them. What helped me defeat the bad ones was the fact that if they could be what they were, then I could also be something different. That was a child's way of fighting back though. I don't believe it would work for anyone else, but, I just got to think that if the evil beings could be... whatever they were, I could be, the monster I think I am. They were not prepared for what came unto them...
Do not worry! There's always people around you, even if they are far. Count on them, call them.
—Heh... I'm glad this day is over!
—WHY? *chew chew*
—I'm tired.
—*Chomp* Here! Eat this! It's tastelicious! *chew chew*
—Haha, not hungry here.
—Aww... but, try it!
—...
—Come ooooon! One piece of it! Just one!
—Okay, gimme.
This was a rather strange day. I didn't get to sleep much this night, didn't even bother trying much anyway, I know about the Sunday's Sleepless Curse, so I'm not going to force myself into it.
Still, I woke up very... awake. Didn't feel like sleeping during class or wishing for it to end as soon as possible, got energy to handle my duties well. That was... weird.
I've been thinking a lot lately, oh well, in some things I guess. Remember the girl from the other post who I wanted to bruise? She... kinda made a surprise appearance, though not physically, she just left a gift. I was told to explode it and record on video, and then send the video to her. Well, that looks far too childish. I'd rather leave it silent as if nothing happened. I don't know exactly, if someone comes up with a better option, I'm accepting suggestions.
I also found an argument that could bring an end to my special money trick. But that's going to be discussed a lot before being approved.
Wondering, wondering...
Psychologist told me things.
Wondering...
Well! I'm enjoying my good mood, today I managed to see the grass and the trees blue! But I still can't see the sky orange, or the ground yellow.
I miss my horror movies...
Whenever nightmares come, you gotta remember that you are still alive, and, sooner or later, they have to go away. My stance toward nightmares is unnatural, since I got used to them. It's always dark... but don't let them fool you. You're bigger than them. What helped me defeat the bad ones was the fact that if they could be what they were, then I could also be something different. That was a child's way of fighting back though. I don't believe it would work for anyone else, but, I just got to think that if the evil beings could be... whatever they were, I could be, the monster I think I am. They were not prepared for what came unto them...
Do not worry! There's always people around you, even if they are far. Count on them, call them.
domingo, 16 de outubro de 2011
Work!
1: It was... it was...
2: FOCUS MAN! WE NEED THIS INFO!
3: Calm down, we ain't getting nowhere if you continue pressuring him like that.
2: Great! So be it then.
1: ...
3: Okay, listen, I know that you are afraid, but you NEED to remember that. We are all facing the borders of the abyss, despair is not only yours. Look at H. He's almost losing control, he's as much afraid as you are, maybe even more.
1: But I can't!
3: Believing you can't is the first step to be unable to do things.
1: ...
Ready?
When you are.
Then we are already late!
Hello... you all who say that I'm a good person...
(To be continued...)
2: FOCUS MAN! WE NEED THIS INFO!
3: Calm down, we ain't getting nowhere if you continue pressuring him like that.
2: Great! So be it then.
1: ...
3: Okay, listen, I know that you are afraid, but you NEED to remember that. We are all facing the borders of the abyss, despair is not only yours. Look at H. He's almost losing control, he's as much afraid as you are, maybe even more.
1: But I can't!
3: Believing you can't is the first step to be unable to do things.
1: ...
Ready?
When you are.
Then we are already late!
Hello... you all who say that I'm a good person...
(To be continued...)
quinta-feira, 13 de outubro de 2011
Dragões cansados
Já morreu tanta coisa por aqui, né?
Se morreu...
Deserto feio.
Talvez algum dia já foi mais feio que isso, não se sabe ao certo.
Mas tinha mais coisa viva, né?
Não é estar viva que faz a coisa ser bonita, muitas das maiores aberrações eram coisas vivas.
Mas...
O que?
Não é só feio, tem algo mais nesse vazio...
Algo como o quê?
Algo ruim.
Vai saber...
E foi aqui que a consciência foi despedida, ele falou que não precisavam mais dela, e então ela se foi...
Mas se eu bem me lembro das histórias, ela voltou, quando o medo voltou a reinar, ela voltou pra salvar ele.
Mas em algum momento, depois disso, ela sumiu de novo, não se sabe se foi por algo que ele fez, ou se simplesmente, cansou de existir. É um fardo muito pesado estar consciente nesse mundo.
Triste... acha que ela morreu?
Não sei. Olha.
O que?
Ali, foi perto daquelas ruínas que a vingança morreu.
Ali?!
Bom, sim. Foi ali que a mensagem chegou, não se sabe exatamente onde ela morreu. Foi em algum lugar na região, ali era um prédio, ele morava ali. Ele leu a mensagem e ficou pensando, daí em algum momento a vingança morreu, não sei direito onde mas foi na região. Se você sabe das histórias deve conhecer a garota das histórias que escreveu a mensagem.
Ah...!
Fez sentido?
Até que sim.
Vamos ver... andando...
Olha, foi por aqui que começou o grande massacre liderado pela solidão.
Ele estava num carro bem ali, quando viu... né?
Exatamente!
Parece meio perto.
Bom, ele viveu bastante tempo nessa cidade, muita merda rolou aqui.
Tem partes mortas pra todo lado...
Sim, e a maioria se concentra aqui. Não sobrou muito... pode-se dizer que ele seja pouco mais do que uma sombra do passado.
O que ainda está vivo?
Existe uma pequena resistência imposta pela inveja. Eu acho que a carência está viva ainda, mas se sobrou algo foi muito pouco, muito pouco mesmo. Parece que...
E o ódio?!
Parece que o ódio viu que podia estar começando a perder força e se uniu à desilusão. Ela é uma força relativamente nova, talvez até mais forte que o ódio, mas ainda não sabemos.
As duas forças estão juntas, então...?
Vão caçar todo o resto, até que não exista mais nada e tenham de se matar.
E aí acaba.
E aí ele não será nem mais uma sombra...
E nós não podemos fazer nada?
Somos apenas vozes... aqui estamos falando de forças muito além do que podemos compreender.
Mas...
Só podemos falar, fingir, criar situações, coisas engraçadas, mas nem conseguimos mais fazer ele rir.
...
Sente e assista o final. Ele não vai pedir ajuda, você sabe disso.
Fudeu...
Soldados morrem, né?
Apenas os que não são bons.
Não somos bons, nunca fomos.
Sua síndrome de inferioridade é um tanto quanto irritante.
Algo em mim deve ser irritante, sou humano.
Não fique repetindo isso, dá azar.
Acho que bons soldados não dependem da sorte, se você se incomoda com o azar, é porque você não é bom.
Em que ponto exatamente eles cansaram de lutar?
Quando eles viram que não tinha mais razão.
E então, POR QUE ELES CONTINUAM VIVOS?
Estão condenados pelas regras que eles criaram. Engraçado né?
Preste atenção pois isto pode salvar sua vida.
Ok!
Próxima regra: se for jogar um jogo, jogue-o até o final.
Por que?
Garoto, você se LEMBRA do que nós conversamos?
Você disse que... não era pra... perguntar nada, apenas, aceitar e praticar...
Exatamente. Escute, isso aqui tudo vai ser duro, vai ser horrível pra você. Tem dias que você vai desejar não existir, mas você está impossibilitado de desistir. Temos de repetir essas regras diariamente, você vai ser uma máquina. É o único jeito de sobreviver, não vamos deixar que eles te machuquem.
Mas... e vocês?
A gente já te explicou... você está sozinho. A gente não existe, somos apenas... você.
...
Quer voltar lá e ter que lidar com eles?
Não... próxima regra...
Eu vejo sua tristeza.
Parabéns pra você.
Tão amargo...
Se não tem nada a dizer, não diga.
Pois eu tenho...
Não, você não tem. Assim como todo o resto, tudo que vocês podem me falar é essa velha filosofia de bar patética. Tudo que disser eu já terei me dito em algum momento no passado, nada novo, morra.
Ei, chefe...
Fala.
Lembra de quando falaram que seríamos assassinos no futuro?
Sim.
Parece que... *sorriso*
Vontade engraçada de destruir pessoas, né?
Hilária...
Porcos malditos.
Acho que não é pra dar certo, sabe? Você é muito estranho.
I... agree.
Fiquem longe. Seus viados. Inúteis.
SABE O QUE É PIOR?! Não posso quebrar NADA! NADA!
E eu vejo que você quer chorar mas não consegue.
Oh...
Nem gritar.
E por que eu gritaria se minha voz não consegue chegar onde eu quero?
2 coisas:
Se você tem algo a dizer, talvez agora seja a hora.
Cuidado com a ausência.
Se morreu...
Deserto feio.
Talvez algum dia já foi mais feio que isso, não se sabe ao certo.
Mas tinha mais coisa viva, né?
Não é estar viva que faz a coisa ser bonita, muitas das maiores aberrações eram coisas vivas.
Mas...
O que?
Não é só feio, tem algo mais nesse vazio...
Algo como o quê?
Algo ruim.
Vai saber...
E foi aqui que a consciência foi despedida, ele falou que não precisavam mais dela, e então ela se foi...
Mas se eu bem me lembro das histórias, ela voltou, quando o medo voltou a reinar, ela voltou pra salvar ele.
Mas em algum momento, depois disso, ela sumiu de novo, não se sabe se foi por algo que ele fez, ou se simplesmente, cansou de existir. É um fardo muito pesado estar consciente nesse mundo.
Triste... acha que ela morreu?
Não sei. Olha.
O que?
Ali, foi perto daquelas ruínas que a vingança morreu.
Ali?!
Bom, sim. Foi ali que a mensagem chegou, não se sabe exatamente onde ela morreu. Foi em algum lugar na região, ali era um prédio, ele morava ali. Ele leu a mensagem e ficou pensando, daí em algum momento a vingança morreu, não sei direito onde mas foi na região. Se você sabe das histórias deve conhecer a garota das histórias que escreveu a mensagem.
Ah...!
Fez sentido?
Até que sim.
Vamos ver... andando...
Olha, foi por aqui que começou o grande massacre liderado pela solidão.
Ele estava num carro bem ali, quando viu... né?
Exatamente!
Parece meio perto.
Bom, ele viveu bastante tempo nessa cidade, muita merda rolou aqui.
Tem partes mortas pra todo lado...
Sim, e a maioria se concentra aqui. Não sobrou muito... pode-se dizer que ele seja pouco mais do que uma sombra do passado.
O que ainda está vivo?
Existe uma pequena resistência imposta pela inveja. Eu acho que a carência está viva ainda, mas se sobrou algo foi muito pouco, muito pouco mesmo. Parece que...
E o ódio?!
Parece que o ódio viu que podia estar começando a perder força e se uniu à desilusão. Ela é uma força relativamente nova, talvez até mais forte que o ódio, mas ainda não sabemos.
As duas forças estão juntas, então...?
Vão caçar todo o resto, até que não exista mais nada e tenham de se matar.
E aí acaba.
E aí ele não será nem mais uma sombra...
E nós não podemos fazer nada?
Somos apenas vozes... aqui estamos falando de forças muito além do que podemos compreender.
Mas...
Só podemos falar, fingir, criar situações, coisas engraçadas, mas nem conseguimos mais fazer ele rir.
...
Sente e assista o final. Ele não vai pedir ajuda, você sabe disso.
Fudeu...
Soldados morrem, né?
Apenas os que não são bons.
Não somos bons, nunca fomos.
Sua síndrome de inferioridade é um tanto quanto irritante.
Algo em mim deve ser irritante, sou humano.
Não fique repetindo isso, dá azar.
Acho que bons soldados não dependem da sorte, se você se incomoda com o azar, é porque você não é bom.
Em que ponto exatamente eles cansaram de lutar?
Quando eles viram que não tinha mais razão.
E então, POR QUE ELES CONTINUAM VIVOS?
Estão condenados pelas regras que eles criaram. Engraçado né?
Preste atenção pois isto pode salvar sua vida.
Ok!
Próxima regra: se for jogar um jogo, jogue-o até o final.
Por que?
Garoto, você se LEMBRA do que nós conversamos?
Você disse que... não era pra... perguntar nada, apenas, aceitar e praticar...
Exatamente. Escute, isso aqui tudo vai ser duro, vai ser horrível pra você. Tem dias que você vai desejar não existir, mas você está impossibilitado de desistir. Temos de repetir essas regras diariamente, você vai ser uma máquina. É o único jeito de sobreviver, não vamos deixar que eles te machuquem.
Mas... e vocês?
A gente já te explicou... você está sozinho. A gente não existe, somos apenas... você.
...
Quer voltar lá e ter que lidar com eles?
Não... próxima regra...
Eu vejo sua tristeza.
Parabéns pra você.
Tão amargo...
Se não tem nada a dizer, não diga.
Pois eu tenho...
Não, você não tem. Assim como todo o resto, tudo que vocês podem me falar é essa velha filosofia de bar patética. Tudo que disser eu já terei me dito em algum momento no passado, nada novo, morra.
Ei, chefe...
Fala.
Lembra de quando falaram que seríamos assassinos no futuro?
Sim.
Parece que... *sorriso*
Vontade engraçada de destruir pessoas, né?
Hilária...
Porcos malditos.
Acho que não é pra dar certo, sabe? Você é muito estranho.
I... agree.
Fiquem longe. Seus viados. Inúteis.
SABE O QUE É PIOR?! Não posso quebrar NADA! NADA!
E eu vejo que você quer chorar mas não consegue.
Oh...
Nem gritar.
E por que eu gritaria se minha voz não consegue chegar onde eu quero?
2 coisas:
Se você tem algo a dizer, talvez agora seja a hora.
Cuidado com a ausência.
segunda-feira, 10 de outubro de 2011
Angst
Cansaço...
If I'm unable to sleep, will you be there to accompany me?
Boring boring boring...
Go to sleep.
Boring boring boring...
Now.
Amanhã vamos estar melhores.
Né?
Plum...
E se uma bola de gelo atinge uma fonte de chocolate quente?
Dormir...
If I'm unable to sleep, will you be there to accompany me?
Boring boring boring...
Go to sleep.
Boring boring boring...
Now.
Amanhã vamos estar melhores.
Né?
Plum...
E se uma bola de gelo atinge uma fonte de chocolate quente?
Dormir...
sábado, 8 de outubro de 2011
Word.
Me lembro de uma frase lida em um texto de um livro da escola, época do ensino fundamental. "A verdade é que ninguém é feliz", daí segue um trecho que eu me lembro como "Não importa se preso ao passado ou ao futuro".
Fiquei pensando nisso na volta pra casa hoje, acho que pode ser verdade. O tanto de pessoas que parece estar feliz ou conseguir superar dificuldades e manter um sorriso no rosto mas na verdade, quando menos se espera, desiste e vaza dessa guerra...
Pensando. Estamos todos tristes e vazios e talvez procuramos alguém para esquecer isso e tentar ser menos tristes juntos. To trocando as palavras porque não eram essas quando eu pensei mas não importa, falei que escreveria o que estava pensando caso acontecesse a parada e aconteceu, então cá está.
Apenas isso.
Não que eu esteja afundando em tristeza de novo, eu apenas sempre fico pensando nessas coisas quando a noite acaba e é hora de voltar pra casa. Voltar e tentar dormir... tentar, só tentar.
Tem mais alguém aí que se sente assim quando acaba a noitada?
Deve ter.
No fundo eu queria dormir, tenho uma inveja monstruosa de quem deita e em 10 minutos já está dormindo. E não acorda com qualquer bolha de sabão estourando durante o sono.
Pensando, pensando...
Eu gosto de ganhar. Ganhei os 3 jogos que joguei hoje. Uma criança feliz em algum canto sorri de maneira boba e inocente.
Azar no amor é o que dizem. Bom, não é novidade. Eu sempre me disse que algumas pessoas nasceram pra ficar sozinhas e por mais que uma luzinha lá no fundo espere muito que esteja errado, eu mantenho minha palavra.
Porque nós nascemos errados, só por isso. Como se o mundo fosse um filme, ou um jogo, ou algo assim. Como se pessoas do nada decidissem dar presentes pras outras e fazer surpresas aleátorias.
Algum dia, vai valer a pena.
Eu só tenho que acreditar nisso.
If all else fails, money buys bombs.
But chaos chose chocolates.
Fiquei pensando nisso na volta pra casa hoje, acho que pode ser verdade. O tanto de pessoas que parece estar feliz ou conseguir superar dificuldades e manter um sorriso no rosto mas na verdade, quando menos se espera, desiste e vaza dessa guerra...
Pensando. Estamos todos tristes e vazios e talvez procuramos alguém para esquecer isso e tentar ser menos tristes juntos. To trocando as palavras porque não eram essas quando eu pensei mas não importa, falei que escreveria o que estava pensando caso acontecesse a parada e aconteceu, então cá está.
Apenas isso.
Não que eu esteja afundando em tristeza de novo, eu apenas sempre fico pensando nessas coisas quando a noite acaba e é hora de voltar pra casa. Voltar e tentar dormir... tentar, só tentar.
Tem mais alguém aí que se sente assim quando acaba a noitada?
Deve ter.
No fundo eu queria dormir, tenho uma inveja monstruosa de quem deita e em 10 minutos já está dormindo. E não acorda com qualquer bolha de sabão estourando durante o sono.
Pensando, pensando...
Eu gosto de ganhar. Ganhei os 3 jogos que joguei hoje. Uma criança feliz em algum canto sorri de maneira boba e inocente.
Azar no amor é o que dizem. Bom, não é novidade. Eu sempre me disse que algumas pessoas nasceram pra ficar sozinhas e por mais que uma luzinha lá no fundo espere muito que esteja errado, eu mantenho minha palavra.
Porque nós nascemos errados, só por isso. Como se o mundo fosse um filme, ou um jogo, ou algo assim. Como se pessoas do nada decidissem dar presentes pras outras e fazer surpresas aleátorias.
Algum dia, vai valer a pena.
Eu só tenho que acreditar nisso.
If all else fails, money buys bombs.
But chaos chose chocolates.
terça-feira, 4 de outubro de 2011
Time to sleep
Are we condemned to be the dark cloud?
Por que tem mordidas no seu corpo?
Porque eu gosto de violência.
Por que você fica triste quando está perto de uma briga?
Eu não sei, eu não gosto...
Por que você fica indo atrás das pessoas?
Porque eu quero companhia.
Por que você gosta de ver gente morrendo nos filmes?
Porque me faz rir.
Por que você é assim?
Porque... eu não sei porque. Mas quando eu achar quem me fez assim, vou fazer ele ficar mais feio do que eu.
Por que tem mordidas no seu corpo?
Porque eu gosto de violência.
Por que você fica triste quando está perto de uma briga?
Eu não sei, eu não gosto...
Por que você fica indo atrás das pessoas?
Porque eu quero companhia.
Por que você gosta de ver gente morrendo nos filmes?
Porque me faz rir.
Por que você é assim?
Porque... eu não sei porque. Mas quando eu achar quem me fez assim, vou fazer ele ficar mais feio do que eu.
Fours
Weird, two days in a row with good dreams...
Well, I wouldn't complain if I were you.
I'm not complaining!
Then go back to sleep.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
*gloomy face*
Oh fu...
You thought you could escape, huh?
I didn't! I didn't!
Get the fuck back HERE YOU STUPID PIG!
...
I remember him running with that scared face. That's all.
Any names?
Do I have to give their names?
It would be very appreciated.
I guess... it was Azariel... or perhaps Illocity... I don't know...
It's okay.
Have you seen this girl?
Bullets...
Hello, hello, ladies and gentlemen.
...
I came all the way to here to find a man, he responds to the name of...
*chaos*
You see, it would be easier if you didn't put everyone else at risk.
Who the hell are you?!
Does it really matter? What good will it do, discovering my name NOW?! Come on, choose, straight to the head or bullet hail.
WHAT?!
The body was found with nothing less than 40 bullet holes.
Incredible things happening these days, huh?
Yeah, we have lasagna!
Hehe, lemme turn off the tv so we can have our dinner.
Why didn't you try to stay awake?
I was... afraid my head would spend the rest of the day hunting me...
I see...
He was angry...
I had ideas...
And then, what?
And then it disappeared. How are we going to write now?
I don't know, just shoot whatever appears in your head right now.
Am I lying? I shouldn't lie to the psychologist. And I didn't. But the truth is just so unreal and gross. Omitting isn't lying... right? Sometimes it would be better to leave I guess. Is it a coward act to choose the gray world and living alone in my room? Maybe I just gotta... look at something that hasn't received the deserved attention these days, something people left behind that could be taken as something new... looks better. Why am I so afraid to show people some anger and resentment?
Perhaps we need a new project.
Perhaps...
Well, I wouldn't complain if I were you.
I'm not complaining!
Then go back to sleep.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
*gloomy face*
Oh fu...
You thought you could escape, huh?
I didn't! I didn't!
Get the fuck back HERE YOU STUPID PIG!
...
I remember him running with that scared face. That's all.
Any names?
Do I have to give their names?
It would be very appreciated.
I guess... it was Azariel... or perhaps Illocity... I don't know...
It's okay.
Have you seen this girl?
Bullets...
Hello, hello, ladies and gentlemen.
...
I came all the way to here to find a man, he responds to the name of...
*chaos*
You see, it would be easier if you didn't put everyone else at risk.
Who the hell are you?!
Does it really matter? What good will it do, discovering my name NOW?! Come on, choose, straight to the head or bullet hail.
WHAT?!
The body was found with nothing less than 40 bullet holes.
Incredible things happening these days, huh?
Yeah, we have lasagna!
Hehe, lemme turn off the tv so we can have our dinner.
Why didn't you try to stay awake?
I was... afraid my head would spend the rest of the day hunting me...
I see...
He was angry...
I had ideas...
And then, what?
And then it disappeared. How are we going to write now?
I don't know, just shoot whatever appears in your head right now.
Am I lying? I shouldn't lie to the psychologist. And I didn't. But the truth is just so unreal and gross. Omitting isn't lying... right? Sometimes it would be better to leave I guess. Is it a coward act to choose the gray world and living alone in my room? Maybe I just gotta... look at something that hasn't received the deserved attention these days, something people left behind that could be taken as something new... looks better. Why am I so afraid to show people some anger and resentment?
Perhaps we need a new project.
Perhaps...
domingo, 2 de outubro de 2011
Rain starts
Patience...
Patience...
All you need is a bit of patience...
The day had started normally awkward, as Sundays ought to be. Why am I feeling this now?
Dreadful cold night.
It's strange how I get so far away from this world in times like these...
My thoughts normally speak way louder than the sounds this world can give me. But then it suddenly drags me down to a place the world doesn't seem to be able to reach. It's... weird...
This utter need of action, something, something...
The voices...
I know I had promised to find something to stop it.
...
You need to trust me.
Get... out...
Why are they here? I don't want anyone here. Get the fuck outta here.
You don't want to stay alone, I know that.
Get. The fuck. Out.
I am not leaving.
It's blood that rains these days. Not that you should worry, child. It can not hurt you, imagine that it's... juice. Ahn, some kind of juice that is red. It's like those parties when we are young where there's paint everywhere, imagine that everytime it rains you can go out and play tomato war with you friends, and that which stains everyone is merely squashed tomatoes, gotta destroy reality a bit.
And if I can't imagine that much?
Just close your eyes.
Patience...
All you need is a bit of patience...
The day had started normally awkward, as Sundays ought to be. Why am I feeling this now?
Dreadful cold night.
It's strange how I get so far away from this world in times like these...
My thoughts normally speak way louder than the sounds this world can give me. But then it suddenly drags me down to a place the world doesn't seem to be able to reach. It's... weird...
This utter need of action, something, something...
The voices...
I know I had promised to find something to stop it.
...
You need to trust me.
Get... out...
Why are they here? I don't want anyone here. Get the fuck outta here.
You don't want to stay alone, I know that.
Get. The fuck. Out.
I am not leaving.
It's blood that rains these days. Not that you should worry, child. It can not hurt you, imagine that it's... juice. Ahn, some kind of juice that is red. It's like those parties when we are young where there's paint everywhere, imagine that everytime it rains you can go out and play tomato war with you friends, and that which stains everyone is merely squashed tomatoes, gotta destroy reality a bit.
And if I can't imagine that much?
Just close your eyes.
Endearing chaos
So, it is Sunday!
I know, I hate it.
Ah... well... at least we have some hours of peace, huh?
What do you mean?
Well, last week you didn't quite get free time, always running from here to there, and then back to here. The old stuff.
I see.
And when you get free time you come up with insane ideas...
Haha, I see that you didn't quite like the surprise.
I like surprises as much as you do, I just... don't know, it doesn't feel like we should be giving such things to people.
Some may deserve it.
I don't know...
Just because you lost much of your trust in people doesn't mean we should be getting rid of the obsession for making surprises. It makes us happy, so, why not? All we gotta is choose a target that could be worth the effort.
You know you are made of contradictions, don't you?
I sure as hell do.
These last days felt a bit strange. Am I cured?
I dunno. But you didn't quite forgive her, did you?
Well... I didn't but I'm not spending so much time now modifying memories and hating... so, that's a good sign right?
Guess so.
The weird feeling at 316 S... why...
"...you are a hurricane I want to face"
Hurricane, huh? I never thought of me as such.
Angel: I liked that one because it was rewarding as part of me. I made to effort to cheer her up daily for 2 years, it felt fair to get this title. She didn't kill herself and now she seems to be happy.
Abyssal: didn't last for long but this was also good. Reminds me of what lies beneath... I remember the day we fought against each other, so bad to hurt your best friends yet you deny the possibility of losing.
Psychopath: that's... the second long lasting title. It's funny to boast this one. My habit of speaking to people pointing things at them...
Niz: this is perhaps the most popular one. All thanks to Nizbel and my legendary nickname... I don't like this one as much as the others, but I don't dislike it anyway, it's just as calling me by my name.
KB: the best one for the memories it carries within. Title given by a small group of people.
We'll remember this to our fucking grave.
I would like to sleep somewhere calm. Can you help me?
Where's the fucking blue fairy?
There's no blue fairy. You know what happened when you last gave a girl that title. I'm not allowing someone else to shoot you down.
Your protection is somewhat exaggerated.
You are somewhat exaggerated.
Gotta write more.
Bullets.
I know, I hate it.
Ah... well... at least we have some hours of peace, huh?
What do you mean?
Well, last week you didn't quite get free time, always running from here to there, and then back to here. The old stuff.
I see.
And when you get free time you come up with insane ideas...
Haha, I see that you didn't quite like the surprise.
I like surprises as much as you do, I just... don't know, it doesn't feel like we should be giving such things to people.
Some may deserve it.
I don't know...
Just because you lost much of your trust in people doesn't mean we should be getting rid of the obsession for making surprises. It makes us happy, so, why not? All we gotta is choose a target that could be worth the effort.
You know you are made of contradictions, don't you?
I sure as hell do.
These last days felt a bit strange. Am I cured?
I dunno. But you didn't quite forgive her, did you?
Well... I didn't but I'm not spending so much time now modifying memories and hating... so, that's a good sign right?
Guess so.
The weird feeling at 316 S... why...
"...you are a hurricane I want to face"
Hurricane, huh? I never thought of me as such.
Angel: I liked that one because it was rewarding as part of me. I made to effort to cheer her up daily for 2 years, it felt fair to get this title. She didn't kill herself and now she seems to be happy.
Abyssal: didn't last for long but this was also good. Reminds me of what lies beneath... I remember the day we fought against each other, so bad to hurt your best friends yet you deny the possibility of losing.
Psychopath: that's... the second long lasting title. It's funny to boast this one. My habit of speaking to people pointing things at them...
Niz: this is perhaps the most popular one. All thanks to Nizbel and my legendary nickname... I don't like this one as much as the others, but I don't dislike it anyway, it's just as calling me by my name.
KB: the best one for the memories it carries within. Title given by a small group of people.
We'll remember this to our fucking grave.
I would like to sleep somewhere calm. Can you help me?
Where's the fucking blue fairy?
There's no blue fairy. You know what happened when you last gave a girl that title. I'm not allowing someone else to shoot you down.
Your protection is somewhat exaggerated.
You are somewhat exaggerated.
Gotta write more.
Bullets.
sábado, 24 de setembro de 2011
We
You're at the Rock in Rio, yet you can't stop planning, huh?
Never stopping. We have another showdown marked.
Is she ready?
I bet she was ready even before the showdown was planned.
You're betting on it?
Gotta bet on somethin'.
Hehe, that's my brother.
That's so...
Us.
Hell yeah.
One week and it will be over.
Never stopping. We have another showdown marked.
Is she ready?
I bet she was ready even before the showdown was planned.
You're betting on it?
Gotta bet on somethin'.
Hehe, that's my brother.
That's so...
Us.
Hell yeah.
One week and it will be over.
quinta-feira, 22 de setembro de 2011
What we created
So, this is the outpost...
I failed in using the energy through the whole fight. I slept, and even though my head tries to calm me by saying I stood up for longer than any other human without any kind of enhancements, I feel like I failed. But I'm having this strange adrenaline that keeps my excited to continue, at least until Tuesday when it's over.
I... have to write... there are stories that have to get out.
Just to keep the memory...
We have the story of the people who bragged about how many lives had costed their clothes.
We have the story about... "if you knew how your relationships with people would end at the moment you met them, would you still try to have them around?".
Too many things...
But I've been having good dreams lately, videogame stuff, Scott Pilgrim, and old friends coming back.
Why am I so anxious? It's just another travel, it will be fine. I'm just afraid of not enjoying this Rock in Rio thing as much as everyone else.
It doesn't matter how many layers we try to add, in the end we are just the freaks we are...
About the dream.
Which may not be a dream.
But I've always wanted to be the one people could always count with. If they needed something, I'd be there for them, whatever, whenever. And then people would speak good things about me, regarding that.
I really wanted that. It's a bit... egocentric I guess. But it looks just fine.
It brings me down, but the hope of someday doing something noteworthy gives me hope to continue. Although I mostly say I have no hopes...
That's a lie anyway, I'm not giving up.
It's like a game, right?
Since a part of me is anxious about travelling today, I'm revealing a bit of nothing to the girl who told me a story.
I am glad you stood there so far, but I'm afraid it has to end soon. Soon enough, I'll show you the part of me that has created so much trouble, and I hope you can handle it and then tell me WHO or WHAT am I.
No longer than two weeks from now.
I failed in using the energy through the whole fight. I slept, and even though my head tries to calm me by saying I stood up for longer than any other human without any kind of enhancements, I feel like I failed. But I'm having this strange adrenaline that keeps my excited to continue, at least until Tuesday when it's over.
I... have to write... there are stories that have to get out.
Just to keep the memory...
We have the story of the people who bragged about how many lives had costed their clothes.
We have the story about... "if you knew how your relationships with people would end at the moment you met them, would you still try to have them around?".
Too many things...
But I've been having good dreams lately, videogame stuff, Scott Pilgrim, and old friends coming back.
Why am I so anxious? It's just another travel, it will be fine. I'm just afraid of not enjoying this Rock in Rio thing as much as everyone else.
It doesn't matter how many layers we try to add, in the end we are just the freaks we are...
About the dream.
Which may not be a dream.
But I've always wanted to be the one people could always count with. If they needed something, I'd be there for them, whatever, whenever. And then people would speak good things about me, regarding that.
I really wanted that. It's a bit... egocentric I guess. But it looks just fine.
It brings me down, but the hope of someday doing something noteworthy gives me hope to continue. Although I mostly say I have no hopes...
That's a lie anyway, I'm not giving up.
It's like a game, right?
Since a part of me is anxious about travelling today, I'm revealing a bit of nothing to the girl who told me a story.
I am glad you stood there so far, but I'm afraid it has to end soon. Soon enough, I'll show you the part of me that has created so much trouble, and I hope you can handle it and then tell me WHO or WHAT am I.
No longer than two weeks from now.
domingo, 18 de setembro de 2011
Wonder Winter Bell
—Here, take this.
—What's this?
—That's a balloon, children love balloons. Ain't I right?
—Well, I like them.
—So take it, it's all yours.
—Thank you a lot, sir!
We watch this world through a glass wall. It's very dry out there, yet, we continue. Looks like a fine day...
—I know you hate sundays, so, I brought you something to make you feel better.
—Hm?
—A sundae recipe!
—What am I going to do with paper...?
—...We are going to use this recipe to make the best sundae we've ever eaten.
—So you came all this way to make me work...?
—...You can't be this lazy...
—Just kidding...
—Good for you.
—Thank you...
But that wasn't real, nice try though. I was told you got the ability to destroy memories, although you can't create new ones with your imagination alone. Good job on nailing those.
—Now, they're speaking about religion and that stuff. It doesn't really matter, they say when people got nothing else to keep their hopes, they dive into religious madness. You ain't needing that, I promised to protect you, to the very end.
—Okay...
—Also, there are a lot of other agents who can and will help you at all costs out there, at the present moment, we haven't contacted many, there are still other agents we have to get to know, but even having such a few will prove very handy.
—Okay...
—But in case it all comes crashing down, remember, you don't need anyone. It's us and us alone. Through these weird days you've created mind companions, you gave us a reason to exist and a lot more of attention than what we deserved, so, that's the least we can do. As you've proven to be a guardian angel to others, we can now serve you as such.
—So you are like, imaginary friends...?
—Quite like that, though a bit different. We aren't existing between levels, you can never see us, but we do chat a lot. We are... parts of you. A glance at your real potential.
—Okay...
Many of the things you try to show them, get out way too different than the original that started it all. I feel you are quite calm today, what is it?
Remember, I like to play with words in my head, and to create names or expressions that sound... comfortable to me. Or radical, it depends. I've been walking around with something stuck in my head these latter days. I don't know what meaning should I give it.
These three words...
They look good together, don't they?
—What's this?
—That's a balloon, children love balloons. Ain't I right?
—Well, I like them.
—So take it, it's all yours.
—Thank you a lot, sir!
We watch this world through a glass wall. It's very dry out there, yet, we continue. Looks like a fine day...
—I know you hate sundays, so, I brought you something to make you feel better.
—Hm?
—A sundae recipe!
—What am I going to do with paper...?
—...We are going to use this recipe to make the best sundae we've ever eaten.
—So you came all this way to make me work...?
—...You can't be this lazy...
—Just kidding...
—Good for you.
—Thank you...
But that wasn't real, nice try though. I was told you got the ability to destroy memories, although you can't create new ones with your imagination alone. Good job on nailing those.
—Now, they're speaking about religion and that stuff. It doesn't really matter, they say when people got nothing else to keep their hopes, they dive into religious madness. You ain't needing that, I promised to protect you, to the very end.
—Okay...
—Also, there are a lot of other agents who can and will help you at all costs out there, at the present moment, we haven't contacted many, there are still other agents we have to get to know, but even having such a few will prove very handy.
—Okay...
—But in case it all comes crashing down, remember, you don't need anyone. It's us and us alone. Through these weird days you've created mind companions, you gave us a reason to exist and a lot more of attention than what we deserved, so, that's the least we can do. As you've proven to be a guardian angel to others, we can now serve you as such.
—So you are like, imaginary friends...?
—Quite like that, though a bit different. We aren't existing between levels, you can never see us, but we do chat a lot. We are... parts of you. A glance at your real potential.
—Okay...
Many of the things you try to show them, get out way too different than the original that started it all. I feel you are quite calm today, what is it?
Remember, I like to play with words in my head, and to create names or expressions that sound... comfortable to me. Or radical, it depends. I've been walking around with something stuck in my head these latter days. I don't know what meaning should I give it.
These three words...
They look good together, don't they?
sexta-feira, 16 de setembro de 2011
Hurt me plenty, part 1
Through dark corners I've sent myself. Hoping that I would never return. I would never again see my red eyes, and be afraid of that part of me. Once again, I missed. Back with a vengeance.
Sabe, eu odeio quando alguém próximo a mim que não sejam meus amigos pedem coisas. Parece que o tempo já é escasso demais pra eu ficar fazendo coisas pros outros. Porque os outros NÃO VÃO se sacrificar em troca.
Mas não importa, the day is rolling and there's no time.
Me sinto bem, apesar de não dormir direito nos últimos... muitos dias. Escolhas feitas, hora de errar e explodir tudo de novo. Sendo eu. Porque às vezes vencer é simplesmente perder de uma forma tão absurda que ninguém vai perceber que foi uma derrota.
Try again. Fail again. Fail better.
Me disseram que Brasília é o inferno. Na boa, eu to achando o clima desse ano muito tranquilo, pra mim a seca ano passado foi pior. Parem de ficar exagerando, bando de chorões.
Sabe, eu odeio quando alguém próximo a mim que não sejam meus amigos pedem coisas. Parece que o tempo já é escasso demais pra eu ficar fazendo coisas pros outros. Porque os outros NÃO VÃO se sacrificar em troca.
Mas não importa, the day is rolling and there's no time.
Me sinto bem, apesar de não dormir direito nos últimos... muitos dias. Escolhas feitas, hora de errar e explodir tudo de novo. Sendo eu. Porque às vezes vencer é simplesmente perder de uma forma tão absurda que ninguém vai perceber que foi uma derrota.
Try again. Fail again. Fail better.
Me disseram que Brasília é o inferno. Na boa, eu to achando o clima desse ano muito tranquilo, pra mim a seca ano passado foi pior. Parem de ficar exagerando, bando de chorões.
quarta-feira, 14 de setembro de 2011
Thy angel comes
Now I lay me down to sleep.
And hope that a dream I can achieve.
If an impossible task that proves to be,
I pray an angel my hand to hold.
And a whole day she'll spend with me,
Until gray gets what once was gold.
Amen...
And hope that a dream I can achieve.
If an impossible task that proves to be,
I pray an angel my hand to hold.
And a whole day she'll spend with me,
Until gray gets what once was gold.
Amen...
segunda-feira, 12 de setembro de 2011
Pretty moon
—Haha, he's here.
—Kill him, kill him!
—I'm not killing anymore, brother.
—Cool, I'll kill then!
The boy ran to the body that lied on the floor. Agonizing. It couldn't be said he battled to live, he had already accepted his fate. Although...
He didn't think it would happen that way.
—Hahaha! Eat this!
The boy stabbed him with a long knife. At the forearm, just to bleed a bit more. His whole body felt like a giant hurt. At first, it seemed like it didn't matter what would the boy do, it wouldn't be felt since pain already taken over. But there was a that brief moment where it seemed to get a thousand times worse, then got back to the constant, drowning pain.
—Heh... you didn't even scream...
The knife passed through his arm, creating a wake of blood that went until his shoulder. He couldn't speak anymore.
—You bleed funny!!
What followed next was a weird scene in which a child slaughtered a man. He stabbed randomly, hand, belly, chest, legs, face...
—Great. Hey, come here, the boy already killed him. We're moving!
—He didn't last muuuuuch...
—I know, we'll look for the next target. She'll find it for us.
The woman approached them.
—You know I don't approve what we're doing.
—But we'll keep doing it anyway, so, you'd better help us out.
—Oh, please, please!
The boy looked at her with those big shiny eyes, if it weren't for his clothes soaked in blood, she would have already fallen for those innocent and kind looks.
—Let's go...
So... what were we doing anyway?
Heh... sometimes I feel I'm the only one with these sudden moments of despair. I feel ridiculous when I think about it, but well, it has already happened. The circle ends and starts, again and again. I even asked for hugs and other things... damn...
Well, as I slept a bit better this night, the day passed smoothly. Always like that... I don't know if I can say "things are getting better".
I remember a few dreams.
And I feel a bit torn between just sitting at the floor and crying, and getting a knife and running around, making them pay...
Them...
Who is "them"?
I would like some ice cream.
And yellow lillys are pretty. They're different, just like the psychologist said.
I want... to sleep... differently...
—Kill him, kill him!
—I'm not killing anymore, brother.
—Cool, I'll kill then!
The boy ran to the body that lied on the floor. Agonizing. It couldn't be said he battled to live, he had already accepted his fate. Although...
He didn't think it would happen that way.
—Hahaha! Eat this!
The boy stabbed him with a long knife. At the forearm, just to bleed a bit more. His whole body felt like a giant hurt. At first, it seemed like it didn't matter what would the boy do, it wouldn't be felt since pain already taken over. But there was a that brief moment where it seemed to get a thousand times worse, then got back to the constant, drowning pain.
—Heh... you didn't even scream...
The knife passed through his arm, creating a wake of blood that went until his shoulder. He couldn't speak anymore.
—You bleed funny!!
What followed next was a weird scene in which a child slaughtered a man. He stabbed randomly, hand, belly, chest, legs, face...
—Great. Hey, come here, the boy already killed him. We're moving!
—He didn't last muuuuuch...
—I know, we'll look for the next target. She'll find it for us.
The woman approached them.
—You know I don't approve what we're doing.
—But we'll keep doing it anyway, so, you'd better help us out.
—Oh, please, please!
The boy looked at her with those big shiny eyes, if it weren't for his clothes soaked in blood, she would have already fallen for those innocent and kind looks.
—Let's go...
So... what were we doing anyway?
Heh... sometimes I feel I'm the only one with these sudden moments of despair. I feel ridiculous when I think about it, but well, it has already happened. The circle ends and starts, again and again. I even asked for hugs and other things... damn...
Well, as I slept a bit better this night, the day passed smoothly. Always like that... I don't know if I can say "things are getting better".
I remember a few dreams.
And I feel a bit torn between just sitting at the floor and crying, and getting a knife and running around, making them pay...
Them...
Who is "them"?
I would like some ice cream.
And yellow lillys are pretty. They're different, just like the psychologist said.
I want... to sleep... differently...
domingo, 11 de setembro de 2011
Invitation to darkness
Tenho medo de deitar nessa cama de novo e constatar que não consigo mesmo dormir.
Tenho medo de não conseguir dormir e acordar amanhã com esse mal humor profundo e não ter capacidade de conversar com aqueles que estão ao meu redor.
Tenho medo de nunca achar as respostas.
Tenho medo de acabar virando algo puramente amargo e não ajudar mais ninguém.
Tenho medo de continuar ajudando e sentir que estou fodido no fim das contas, confirmar que eu sou o único que vê beleza nessas coisas.
Tenho medo da minha doença da dependência.
Tenho medo de dormir e sonhar com coisas que a maioria das pessoas considera como boas, mas me fazem ficar lá embaixo.
Tenho medo de ver que amanhã é apenas mais um hoje.
E eu sei que o medo nunca foi suficiente pra me parar nesses casos. Não vou ser covarde como eles. Mas às vezes é bom contar pra alguém. Seja lá quem for, talvez seja alguém que possa falar do assunto de forma a não me deixar mais sozinho.
Me dá um taco de baseball?
Tenho medo de não conseguir dormir e acordar amanhã com esse mal humor profundo e não ter capacidade de conversar com aqueles que estão ao meu redor.
Tenho medo de nunca achar as respostas.
Tenho medo de acabar virando algo puramente amargo e não ajudar mais ninguém.
Tenho medo de continuar ajudando e sentir que estou fodido no fim das contas, confirmar que eu sou o único que vê beleza nessas coisas.
Tenho medo da minha doença da dependência.
Tenho medo de dormir e sonhar com coisas que a maioria das pessoas considera como boas, mas me fazem ficar lá embaixo.
Tenho medo de ver que amanhã é apenas mais um hoje.
E eu sei que o medo nunca foi suficiente pra me parar nesses casos. Não vou ser covarde como eles. Mas às vezes é bom contar pra alguém. Seja lá quem for, talvez seja alguém que possa falar do assunto de forma a não me deixar mais sozinho.
Me dá um taco de baseball?
sábado, 10 de setembro de 2011
Por mais que doa a dor infinita...
Amanhã vai ser um inferno, né?
Totally hell on earth, my dear.
I... just wish that there was a way not to face it. A way to help people without having to face this. I didn't do anything anyone else out there would have done, right?
Yet... why do I feel like... it's just another of those moments of sacrifice that won't result in anything but frustration...?
I don't know... I don't... know...
Whatever comes ahead, we're together. Even if there's only one in the battlefield, we're two. I promised myself to become an adult, and I teached myself day and night... even if I didn't know the lessons exactly.
But it's, me and myself, as always. I can handle this, I always could. Heroes can handle infinite damage, right?
If you want to take me down, well, I can only say...
Hurt me plenty.
Help. Please.
Totally hell on earth, my dear.
I... just wish that there was a way not to face it. A way to help people without having to face this. I didn't do anything anyone else out there would have done, right?
Yet... why do I feel like... it's just another of those moments of sacrifice that won't result in anything but frustration...?
I don't know... I don't... know...
Whatever comes ahead, we're together. Even if there's only one in the battlefield, we're two. I promised myself to become an adult, and I teached myself day and night... even if I didn't know the lessons exactly.
But it's, me and myself, as always. I can handle this, I always could. Heroes can handle infinite damage, right?
If you want to take me down, well, I can only say...
Hurt me plenty.
Help. Please.
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