Meet Nine of Spades

It's funny...
I don't know what, but I just find everything so funny. It's funny, isn't it?

I see you there sitting at your chair, waiting for the judgement. The light illuminates only you. You don't run. If people mistake, they have to pay, right?
There has to always be some kind of payment.

I have my cards.
I know you think they'll fail, but I still trust them.

There's just a few cards in your hand.

But I've gotten King of Clubs, Nine of Spades, Six of Hearts, and a few more to reveal.

It comes with a boom, it goes with a bang. I like that phrase. It's something like that actually...

So... you've got some info to give us...

I... I felt a bit ridiculous. In fact I was feeling it was a mistake. But after we started to talk, it didn't feel that bad, it was just, a bit awkward because... I felt childish. It was like, you know, like...
I always feel stupid when I speak about these things, because I feel people either don't care or feel it's not that much of a problem. Though I know I tend to increase problems dramatically, but still...
I feel stupid to know that I already know what has to be done. But I think too much, way too much. I feel stupid when I think about of all the times I think about vengeance. I feel ridiculous, and childish.
Wish I could play my games and forget it a bit.
I just have to be aware of my situation, right? When I get too alone and start to think about bad things, I gotta look for company. There will be someone out there to talk to me.
That's me, or... what I made me become. That's how unreasonable it got. That's... sad.

Sometimes it feels hard to breath.