I'm sorry...
It's been a few days I heard the songs that marked those dark days.
I haven't improved shit since then. I haven't followed any of the words said except for the self destructive moments. I have nothing to tell you. At least on the topics you deserved to hear.
It still makes sense. And that means I'm not done yet. I barely started. And I keep on this roller coaster of money and things to do, things people say I've got to do. But I don't know if there will be time enough to do everything. I don't know if these aches are normal and if all these problems to sleep are normal.
All these dreams, all these characters willing to go to great lengths to kill me. Did I tell you I've dreamt a ridiculously long dream about eastern Europe? And even there I found trouble.
A weird cheating wife who was crazy with guns and then her black-magic bearing husband thirsty for revenge.
I've even had planes falling on me in Japan.
It seems nowhere is safe.
I wonder if had that day not come things would be different. Maybe not, there would be somehow another reason for me to hunt myself. At least you would still be here.
Coming to think of it, it looks a bit stupid because you were absolutely not that into being near me as you were with others.
I can't focus much on anything and I don't want to go to work. I don't want to see my friends and I don't want to start anything. Because it's broken. Maybe some things are never meant to be fixed, actually. They aren't broken, they just don't fit among the other pieces.
I have so much hatred boiling inside for these eyes that keep on watching me from afar. I don't know what do they expect of me.
I'm too weak.
