Beacon

Larga esse peso que não te pertence.
Vê se esse olho brilha novamente.
Foca no que reluz.
E esquece o que te reduz.

Lembra de tudo que já passou.
Não esquece que o tempo não parou.
E marca a parte que te importa.
Na frase que tanto você repete.

Às vezes a causa não é tão importante.
Percebe a consequência e muda o rumo.
Mas por favor não fique aqui.
Isso não é você.

E mesmo indefinido.
Saiba que não está perdido.
Saber a negativa.
Ainda é uma parte do caminho.

E tenha a certeza.
Que na pior alternativa.
Você devolve o olhar.
E sabe que ela te admira.


I can't come up with catchy phrases or action hero's comebacks. I feel ashamed that I let it go that way. Kinda forgot what I did, and why I did, and how I did. For a while it seemed like the big bad bleak space could never be filled if not for a complete realization. Even though completeness is pretty much a state of mind of he who realizes.
I kinda forgot.
Kinda forgot that even though anyone could achieve what I'm achieving, or even further, and even better, it still took me to achieve it. Not any of you. You did nothing, and if you could do better, that brings your score even lower for wasting potential.
So long and don't bother coming after. 

Grand Chariot

This sucks.
I didn't even remember to say how pretty your hair looked.
All these chances going down the drain.
I don't understand why I feel so worried. I worry about everything. About things that shouldn't be worried about. About adults that are grown up already and can take care of their lives. Way better than me.
Worrying about things that aren't into my reach. I worry about things in the future.
And some in the past.
I worry about working too much and not taking time to enjoy the moment but at the same time if I enjoy it too much I ain't producing.
I need to work, I need to finish this thing so I can go to where I have to be.
But then if that's where I have to be why am I losing time here right now.
I don't know, maybe it's necessary.
I can't let this one also down.
It can't stay on the wake. It needs its own way.
I'm giving it a way.
I guess.

Stupid body.

Your day

I just can't seem to forget the day we took that Uber ride.
I don't think you remember what you said or what happened around, except for the soundtrack. I've been thinking about it. True, I thought most about it when it was still recent.
I never spoke about it to anyone because I'm not sure how to say it. Not the smartest cookie in the jar when it comes to explaining things that are mostly felt.
You probably remember the soundtrack, that would be my best bet. Something jazzy and christmasy, even though there would still be almost 2 months before said date. If I were to remember anything, it would be that I was a bit angry at the driver because he drove carelessly. Those weren't the best streets indeed, so a rather bumpy ride is to be expected. But the way he changed lanes ferociously during early night time, that seemed too reckless for me. And I worried you might be disliking it somehow. Not exactly feeling insecure or anything, well I guess I felt you were unsafe on that situation and it became reality, for me at least.
But.
You turned to me and said something.
At first I didn't understand because I was shrouded in my worries. I wondered if you said something about his driving style, it seems like when we are too focused on something we think everyone else has their thoughts in resonance to ours.
But you were... joyful.
Once you repeated I understood.
You told me to put on his review... "excellent playlist".
That kinda disarmed me. Indeed the songs were good. But I was focused something else. You see, I don't even remember where were we going. I know the rain poured, and that I was unsettled due to his actions behind the wheel.
Then I was disturbed by how focused I was on the negative side of the ride. I, who like car rides and looking at the city's lights through the windows, blurred by the rain.
We were going somewhere fun. The days were being fun, travelling and all.
And at first I had already noted the songs. Approved. But it was all for naught due to an imperfection that would occur later.
Still not sure how to react to it. If that attitude is to be protected, held away from all harm that can come from this world. Or simply, appreciated, for harm is a constant, and it shouldn't be the highlight. Though I'm not sure I'd be good at mimicking that lifestyle.
It sure is cute though.