Sometimes it seems helpless...
No matter which view I try to use, I end on a dark alley in my mind. Surrounded, and I can only react with rage. The old same hatred that lies carved within me. Waking me at night, angry with my sleep. Angry with no exact answers to it's questions.
It just cannot understand humans, and sometimes I think that neither do I.
It yells at the thoughts of losing again, and of giving up before I face defeat, as giving up is most a implicit form of losing. But it's just blind to even wondering about a victory scenario. I did not want it to attack like this.
People are free to do whatever they want, aren't they?
But I'm cold and locked to it. Reason won't help finding a way out of this place. And sooner or later I will turn against the ones who help me. Just as expected.
As I get closer to the boiling point, destroying what comes into nearness, I see this blurred figure. Walking nearby, as if it had the very same disastrous disease. But it hasn't, it can be seen through it's eyes. Yet it keeps on standing close. Fearless.
Don't worry, we'll fix you, no matter what.
