Disarm

Are you okay?
Why the fuck do you keep asking how am I, if I'm fine, all this crap??
I...
Stop talking like a crybaby. And don't you even fucking think about crying. Now that's it, wipe these tears. NOW. Listen, if you ever ask me again this crap...
I just ask because I care about you.
What...?


Don't you miss being disarmed?
What do you mean?
Like, when someone does something that you didn't expect at all. But in a good way.
Hm...
Like when you faced the clown some days ago. And don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about.
Well... indeed it was good, but it got some awful consequences...
But at the moment it feels good. Even though the awful things happened, at the exact moment you got disarmed you felt good.
But what's the point of feeling good if sooner you feel horrible?
Well, that's life...
But I miss it... a little...
I find it fantastic, I mean, this ability to disarm. It's pretty nice because, well, there are people out there that live armed to the core... like you. So it's a chance to feel calm at least once, feel like the world could go to the hell damned pit it came, it's matterless. You gotta keep these few people close man.
Says you.
Nah... it's serious. That warm feeling, it's priceless. Specially for...
Whatever dude...
...the disheartened.


I wish I had this ability.
Maybe you have, it's just that these things people tend to keep for themselves, selfish bastards.
Haha, but there's no way to discover if I have?
Guess there isn't. Unless they are very transparent, but I doubt so.
Well, just keep moving right?
Hell yeah!


Don't you have any will left?
Will?
You know... don't you want to do something?
Not as far as I know...
You make so many plans... but you stay mostly in this ridiculous inertia.
Perhaps I'm making plans to the wrong direction.
So... why don't you change directions?
I don't know...
We're screwed.


I stay in this cottage, hearing the rain. It seems like the last rain I'll witness. I can't move to anywhere else, I can just wait 'til death comes. Soon there will be water everywhere, and no more roof, no more walls. I would like to ask for forgiveness, I'm sorry for anything I might have done to your harm. I did not mean to scare. And I also don't know if I actually scared you, but I feel like apologizing. It seems like my sins shall never be forgiven, for I can't accept forgiveness. But still, I'm sorry for anything. That's it.