Dizzy

You know, I have once heard of a girl waiting to be saved, she was drawing irregular lines, I don't remember whether she used a pencil or a pen. She just rapidly created lines, guided by her heartbeats. She waited for the boy who could be her angel and give her a reason to live, instead of desperately scribbling that paper. And he watched her, for hours. Until she got up and went straight to him, asking to be saved.
I liked that story, I've resumed it horrendously but, writing about it just came to my mind. It came because of another story, about a girl in a café, waiting for the day the waiter would ask if he could join her. That girl with two cups of coffee in her table, patiently watching him. And the final words, considering the story ends when the one who tells it stops telling, "thought you would never ask". I have those words in my head, always liked this phrase. You can also figure what happened at the café story, and I believe it didn't end like that, just because nothing else was told.
It's pretty, isn't it?
Makes me wonder about all those... ''phantasies" I've created. About those moments when life meets the movies. What I used to call them "magic", but the term was long buried and now speaking about it brings death penalty. "Magic" does not exist, it's all about how long can you be fooled.
I have a vast arsenal of moments in my head. They hurt like hell.
I wasn't actually going to write this, my head was mostly focused on my hatred toward such relationships and all these lies. But, I thought someone wouldn't like to read it, or, at least, that it wouldn't be fair to ruin such a pretty story with my scars.
The truth is that I really wanted those moments to be real, really really. But I just don't feel like believing in someone like that anymore. It could be called the infamous "fear-of-being-hurt". Who cares...
It's a fucking war out there, and we've already chosen our weapons...


I feel a bit dizzy. Can I stay in here for a while?
Sure!
Thank you... I'm not ready to go out there...
...And I'm not ready to say goodbye...


If only it was true.