Another cycle over

I'm not in the mood for trying to write another ficticious beginning, nor some happy story. That sucks, I guess. But, we all have our sucker days.
To be honest, the day wasn't bad. In fact, it was kinda cool at some points. Started like chaos, true that. We had some trouble here and there, lamps broken, noise and blasts, but then calmness came. Perhaps we had to destroy and go impulsive rage in order to get the good solution, perhaps. Got some wacky rain like no tomorrow, pretty good. I know it's dangerous as hell but I can't lie, I like it. Through the water traps in the road and the weirdness of the car's movements, I was smiling. That smile that is hard to control, I guess that's the one that comes from the inside, from what you really are. I guess that's not a good thing but... oh well.
Saw some people during the solution, kinda funny and all. Then problem solved, which was a good thing, now all we have to do is wait and see what they can do for us. Then lunch. THE lunch time, I know, it was late and all, I had food here, all I had to do was put it in a microwave oven and then, eat it. But, I preferred to go out. Well, at my side I have the fact that I didn't even remotely remember there was food at home, but there was no damage done anyway.
The food was good, there was this nice wind and some rain at the end of it. Some thoughts, probably movie induced. Maybe someday I invite a stranger someone to lunch with me, who knows what can happen right? Perhaps I find a very interesting person behind all that... let's say, poor desguise.
Then sweet lone castle. It was good, appointment made, all I have to do is wait a few weeks and then we'll solve another trouble.
Strange night came in, very strange I must say. At the end we managed to get the guys together, though it seems pretty weird now, I guess everyone has to take their way, that's life. It's strange to take a ''who cares'' position toward these things. But it wasn't all bad, there was milkshake and some talk. Anger inducing talk indeed, but, it's okay. I can live with it. If there was something we could do, someone would have already done it already, right? Still I believe that violence sometimes is useful, but that's okay.
Then we got some people in here leaving talks, that was good, I understand my motivations for leaving it open for conversations was bad, we'll get this fixed. The results were somewhat good, nonetheless.
So, another cycle is over. What have we gotten from this one? I believe that not very much, though it was fun in parts. You can't always win right? And you absolutely can't force yourself to win, this one is pretty weird but... well, who cares.
I now look at the lamp while listening to this sad song, well, perhaps your sacrifice was for the better, that's all we can say at this moment. It's weird to see that you can't discharge rage without destroying things. I believe there has to be somewhere you can destroy without harming anything. Well, it's possible...
Perhaps these last cycles won't be as powerful as we had planned it to be... we'll see. Tomorrow is a promising day, anyway.
I can't stop thinking about a few things, but that's okay since these things have been around for quite a long time and they don't seem to be leaving any soon. Too much worry? Guess so.
Perhaps the quest gets morphed into a quest for self-assurance. Gotta be ready for the worst.
I see myself wishing for stupid things, I don't like that. But it's not under my control yet, that positively sucks.
Perhaps being alone is the less harmful way, perhaps. It doesn't matter what they say, they know nothing right? Being alone is easier and also less harmful to both parts.
Walking through the night...