Aimless

I like being alone.
But there's something bothering the balance. Perhaps that's life, never reaching what you hunt. Then there lots and lots of mechanisms, like, making you not aware of what are you seeking. Seriously, what's the logic in missing a thing you've never really had?
Perhaps I need tons of chocolate. Or a lethal dose of adrenaline. Or whatever. We'll find something that work. Something has to work right?
And it's all a matter of how do you look at things. Can the feeling of not actually feeling something be like feeling something good? Not like, not feeling your bones crashing continuously and twisting while your skin is bruised.
And I look at my sides and the skull remains there. Half asleep. Waiting for a day that will never come. I wish I could tell it that the time will come. And we'll have a mission. Not like the ones we face in this world. I'm still not locked into this world, even after all this time. Well, that comes as no surprise, I never loved this shit.
There's never enough for me. Maybe someday we find a place where we can go and get some kind of fucking answer. Any answer that helps.
We need to find a way to destroy without being destroyed.