Abnormal

Not everything that we do is fair. I guess most of our deeds are unfair, in fact. But that doesn't mean we are evil, right? I mean, we are unfair in a way we want the good things to happen to those around us, well, those around us that we like. Sometimes we miss, and sometimes we miss many times but that's not because we wanted to do evil to people, it was just... shit happens. No one said it's an impossibility to miss twice or thrice in a row if you're trying to do the right thing. I don't even know why the fuck am I writing this when I thought I should be writing about something else though I didn't really know how to do that.
Have you ever done something good but then thought that it wasn't very good because you weren't fully wishing to do a good deed? Like donating blood, guess it sounds weird but have you ever donated for... I don't know, going there and seeing how would it be like. Like, you didn't really feel, ''I'm doing this to help others'', so, should you feel good for donating like that? Does that make you a hollow being? Perhaps what makes you empty is the fear of being empty.
It's a weird contradiction, doing good things and wishing bad things. I guess every single human is a bit of a walking contradiction, but some look like anomalies in this subject. Like two extremes encaged in one body. Perhaps they are not so strange if you consider that there is only good as long as there is evil, but that's philosophycal stuff, and I don't understand much of that.
I really wish I could be something more suited to this situation. Hope you don't get scared. But sometimes I like to be strange, that makes me strange? If so, then I'm just being myself. Although I'm not entirely sure of what have I became. But I feel more powerful on the outside, and dimming inside. Maybe that's just what I feel, my perception of the world was never much accurate.
What the hell... let's just see what kind of weird shit happens then. Good luck and sorry, if anything.