Sink

YOU JUST SIT THERE, OKAY?!
I don't fuckin' need your help, I just want you to hear.
And don't you dare saying that I'm being contradictory here, I didn't tell you to say a fuckin' word.
IF YOU GET UP AGAIN I'LL KILL YOU.
I can do this without your help, without anyone's help. Just keep quiet.
Have you ever felt like screaming? You know, this feeling of being suffocated. It makes me wanna scream the hell out of me, but I never scream. It's no use.
Ah, don't you say a word.
But it seems I'm always in this misery state, doesn't it? Don't answer.
You know you feel like you need to be taken care of, but you can't be taken care of, because you already had too much of that. BUT WHY DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU NEED THAT EVEN THEN?
Is it my mind? Am I fucked up beyond any repair? IS THAT IT?
It keeps on coming back, why doesn't it stop? What am I supposed to do?
I'M FUCKING SINKING GOD DAMN IT!
You know, I know what to do, but I always stop before finishing it. I need to kill the agony, but at the same time I feel out of resources for it. There's no will anymore. Yet I managed to find will to get a hostage. It's contradiction at it's finest isn't it?
It's just...
I just feel like I have to be alone, but it's hard to do it.
Damn why don't someone just come here and destroy me?!
...
What...?

It's ok, it's ok...

Don't you dare hug me you stupid bitch.
I'll fucking kill you.

No, you won't. And I'm not destroying you. That's not what I want.

...