Nails

And after making our way through an old, rusty iron door I've met him. My comrades hesitate to walk further in the room. It was covered wall to wall, by strange images of angels and torture. It seemed like two very distinct persons had decorated those dirty walls. Looking at me from the other side of this place was a man.
The vision of a man with nails superficially craved into every part of his arms shocked me. At his shoulders there were some small needles, and also at some parts of his face. Some of the wounds still had blood marks around them, though it seemed most have been done a long time ago.
Even so, he had a calm look at his face. The black eyes staring at me, as some kind of weird seer that awaited my arrival. Anxiously, and patiently at the same time.
- Welcome.
- Who... are you?!
I was still alone in the room with him, the others were outside, alert to anything stranger that could happen.
- I'm just a man like you, or those friends of your out there.
- Sir, we're taking everyone out of this building, we have an order to assure you are out there and safe.
- I know, and I'll probably be.
- So, you must come with us...
- No problem.
The strange man didn't fight back nor refuse anything. Although being the strangest one we found at the building, he was one of the easiest to evacuate.
After the operation I've met him again outside, away from the crowds, who probably were afraid of even looking at him.
- So, are you done with your work?
- Yes, there are still two scout units looking for people we may have missed.
- Good.
- Just out of curiosity, why did you do that?
- What do you mean?
- These... things in your skin.
- Oh, have you ever felt the relief after a stressing situation?
- Yes...
- Or that good feeling after something painful ends? I found a way of creating this sensation whenever I wanted.
I notice a smile on his face, also, there seems to be a few nails ''missing'' on the left arm.
- See that nurse over there?
- Sure, what's with her?
- She went mad when she saw me, then started to take some of the nails out. I begged her to stop claiming it hurted too much. She'll probably come back soon and take some more.
- You don't want to take them now? Want to go to a hospital or...?
- No, no. I want her to come and take some more, you have no idea of how terrific it feels. It's incredible the feeling you have when these things get out, at first it might hurt but it's like freeing your arms from horrible weights.
- So you did this... on purpose?!
- Of course, by creating pain, someone will come and save me from it. Relieve me. You appreciate these kind actions better when you are in peril.
I stood there, looking at him. Somehow, part of it actually made some sense, but the most was just outrageous.
- Don't you agree with me?

Refugee on Demonsland

- You're here again, kid.
- Yes, you see, that's the only place I feel like I can be alone.
- But you're not alone in here. There's always a lot of things happening, and you know, we aren't like you.
- Yet you don't seem to be of any harm to me. So, as long as you ignore me and I ignore you, I'm alone in here.
- As you wish, I just can't assure you we will always be so kind to you. After all, you were already warned of this place, you can't say you didn't know where you are now. Nobody will save your ass from the boiling pits. Clear?
- Clear as hell, ma'am.
- Okay then.


I know this is a different place. And I also know I wasn't supposed to be here. But don't feel comfortable like this anywhere else. I look at the window. There's a lot of weird people walking around, the city albeit pretty, is very crude. It gets pretty obvious that this is not a normal place, you're not dealing with humans when you're here. But they won't attack me anyway, at least if I don't mess with them that is. They are not supposed to be kind, there's no law that says it. No matter who you are, nothing protects you here. There's a small marketplace down there. My hotel is almost at the center of this city, sometimes you can hear screams and people bashing it other. But it's not like a common market, they don't summon fire over those places. They have deaths everyday here, dismemberments, mutilations, immolations. It's their daily routine, and they can live with it. That's the reality, some are more intelligent, some are just piles of muscles.
The concierge of this hotel is one of the most human-looking I've ever seen. Yet it has that weird thing in his eye. It becomes clear as water that they are not like us when you look right into their eyes. It's a strange energy that comes out of them. Scary I'd say, but somehow I feel better over here than in my world, the places that I was supposed to be. Why, I don't really know, after all I'm human, and humans should remain with humans, and demons with demons.
But I'm better being a passer-by in my places, and an eternal refugee in Demonsland.


They are not that much different when you compare us to them. I guess that shows how low has our society gone, yet we say it's going better as our feet goes deeper and deeper in the mud. The richest or most intelligent demons live in these kind of hotels, or castles. There are lots of castles at the borders of this city. The smaller and not so treacherous live in slums. Who kills most lives better, who fools most gets most trust. Living out of the slums here means you are somewhat dangerous to others. I've never met the ones on the top of the hierarchy. At least not that I've known, I suppose they can be easily distinguished from the street trash.
I don't speak with anyone over here unless I'm obliged to do so. The concierge over the entrance and the lady that lives in the same corridor that I stay are the only ones I talk sometimes. I normally don't get out of my room because I like being alone in here, they can get me food when I'm in need of it, it isn't wise to risk myself out there in the streets. They can smell human flesh from a distance. And even though the taste is far worse than most of the meats I've eaten, they like it.
I guess I need to explain myself in those last sentences. Human meat is very common around here. It's like we were their cattle, there's those big slaughterhouses where they butcher humans in order to get food. So, if you're not eating human meat over here, get ready to face hunger. Fruits are abnormally rare and different animals are only for the ones who can afford it. Even though I heard they eat those just to have a feeling of being different, to impose they are better because they can eat different things, still they like human flesh just as everyone else.
Over here it's important to be superior, to step on the miserable ones and shove their face on the mud. It may sound strange at start but once you get used to it, it feels like living among humans that actually show what they think. And the similarities don't stop there, at night this is like those huge cities where there are lights everywhere. The difference is that the lights over here are most non-related to electricity. But the flames are also as beautiful. Night is even more noisy than the day since most of them seem to feel better at night, I suppose they don't really feel our urge for sleeping. Though I know they also sleep. Sometimes.
There's a building to the left of the market, just at night that is. It's invisible during the day, but as soon as night falls some red lights start to surge, it's like a tower appearing out of thin air, though I don't know what exactly happens over there. I'd need a good disguise to go out of here in night time.
Perhaps if I got some kind of escort, I could walk around, but that would be expensive. The lady of the corridor perhaps could get some help in this, but I don't think I really want to get out of my hideout. And I don't really know how much blood would that cost.

Weird dusk

I can't make much noise. I can't break anything, nor can I hit anything. They will get worried. And then they are going to speak and I don't want them speaking so I can't do these things ok?
Why...?
They'll bore me. It's bad.
As bad as holding yourself...?
Maybe worse.


- You see I'm the one drinking and watching. I see your blood all splattered. AWHAHAHAHA.
- Quit soda, freak.
- I'm not quitting.
The man lying in the floor with only his upper body raises his hand toward the one sitting in the chair near the laptop. Blood flows from the torso of the lying man, he'll be dead soon. The bedroom is filled with blood. A pair of sneakers is standing at the small blood pool.
- Don't you like these guys?
- You... sick... fuck...
The man sitting on the chair kicks the bleeding man in the face, he moans and falls. He can't hold it anymore. The arm that was pointing to the chair goes to the floor with a splash of blood. The man in the chair headbangs to the sound of Paranoid. His laughter is shrill and demented.
- 4 a.m... gotta sleep man!
He cranks the volume and gets out of the chair. He steps on the dead man's head, the movement makes some noise like bubbles bursting. He then lies on his bed and sleeps. The same song repeating through the dark night.

I stand alone

Why does it seem we are going crazy so much nowadays?
I mean, we are always a little bit of lunatic, but just a bit, it was like this before the change, and it was like this after the change. But not anymore.
They say things change, always, for good or for bad. I guess that's true, because I thought that I was okay, and I wanted things to be okay, aka not changing.
BUT, there's always something weird happening. Be it the fact that your sleep is totally deranged, if you sleep early you woke up late, and then you lost your morning. If you sleep late, you wake up late, so at least you don't lose the initial hours of your morning. BUT in both cases, you sleep like shit. That's it, sleeping seemed stupid because you thought you were wasting time before. Now it's senseless, because you're not only wasting time, but you're also waking up so freakin' tired it's almost as you haven't slept at all. And man, that sucks.
What else sucks, to lose your concentration. I don't even know what people told me like, hours ago. I know this is an altered version of the truth, I know what some people told me recently. But not all. I never was someone who could give super attention to things, you know I'm kinda numb on that matter. BUT now I can't even get to remember important things people said. That is, if they really said because I don't remember. But since they are complaining about it, I guess they said. Well it's okay, that just shows the real me that was hidden. Perhaps that's me, giving no shit about these people. And I don't really care, I can't care. Everything looks so... empty. And then you start seeing the bad things people have. And boy they have. Problem is, once you start seeing, it's all you see. Let them live their lives, I guess I'm done with it. They don't care to make these things better, so I'm not caring either. Should I talk to them? WHY?
You start to think that maybe you haven't really fulfilled your objectives. You are no different, you are still more with the people than with yourself. Come, get the fuck up. You are the one who really matters in this pile of shit. The people? To hell with them. They will be gone sooner or later.
You see, there's something strange going on. But strange to the common patterns they have set for you to follow. But it was always there, lurking. Perhaps the lack of real sleep makes people go nuts. And being nuts you can't control your freak side anymore. AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
It makes sense. It MAKES SENSE after some time. Now that's weird. But I guess I'm done with these people. I don't know. Maybe it's just now, I just need to sleep, but I was already told there is a lot of people in this world. I'll never find someone who has no bad side, but maybe I can find people that fits me better. Who knows?
I don't know. And I don't feel like knowing a shit so soon. But, I guess I'm alone this time. Maybe we need to be alone. So we can find. And after we find we think a lot. Right?
Shall we think a lot when we find? I guess maybe.
I don't really feel like talking because I guess I won't like the aftermath anyway. Those bad things that happen. But hey, they say friendship is a thing that can endure horrors. I don't know, perhaps this horror here can't endure friendship anymore. I'm strange. Way stranger than I thought I was. And now I see how contradicting I am. Because I don't know, maybe it's just fear doing it's job. But it seems like this is not a good idea, but then it makes sense, and if I talk to anyone about it they won't see any sense at all. Because this is against the fucking pattern. The pattern. Why can't I just fucking follow it? Are we... evil?
No that's not evil. I guess not. You see, I think my arguments are bad so it's no use to talk about it. They are busy anyway, busy busy busy. As you should be. Shouldn't you?
Yes we should. So... you'll be busy working for me, that means you work for us, so you work for yourself. And this time you won't feel unhappy anymore. See. No more.
I wish there was a more pyrotechnical way of throwing that away. But then I probably would have some serious trouble with the law. Maybe I'll have trouble with the law lately. Who knows?
Maybe the law is evil.
Maybe not. You see, I liked things the way they were, but they are not anymore. And I want my older me back. WHY NOT? I can have it, we all can. And then we can control it, so we can manage to find what we need to find. You see, I don't really think it's useful to fight for these people anymore. And I know you're afraid of the lone stand. We all are, but that's like the preparation for a monstrous roller coaster ride. And maybe we can't find any, BUT we will have tried. And then maybe it's better to be alone. Because it seems we are different. Why didn't they teach us to feel the things the way people are supposed to feel? See, they are the evil ones behind this scheme.
And we'll get them. Oh boy, we'll get them all.
And I stand alone. And a part of me didn't really want to make you worry. But I guess that's what it takes to go after something you like. Right? Anyway, who gives a shit. Weird times be coming.
And oh boy, they come.

Abnormal

Not everything that we do is fair. I guess most of our deeds are unfair, in fact. But that doesn't mean we are evil, right? I mean, we are unfair in a way we want the good things to happen to those around us, well, those around us that we like. Sometimes we miss, and sometimes we miss many times but that's not because we wanted to do evil to people, it was just... shit happens. No one said it's an impossibility to miss twice or thrice in a row if you're trying to do the right thing. I don't even know why the fuck am I writing this when I thought I should be writing about something else though I didn't really know how to do that.
Have you ever done something good but then thought that it wasn't very good because you weren't fully wishing to do a good deed? Like donating blood, guess it sounds weird but have you ever donated for... I don't know, going there and seeing how would it be like. Like, you didn't really feel, ''I'm doing this to help others'', so, should you feel good for donating like that? Does that make you a hollow being? Perhaps what makes you empty is the fear of being empty.
It's a weird contradiction, doing good things and wishing bad things. I guess every single human is a bit of a walking contradiction, but some look like anomalies in this subject. Like two extremes encaged in one body. Perhaps they are not so strange if you consider that there is only good as long as there is evil, but that's philosophycal stuff, and I don't understand much of that.
I really wish I could be something more suited to this situation. Hope you don't get scared. But sometimes I like to be strange, that makes me strange? If so, then I'm just being myself. Although I'm not entirely sure of what have I became. But I feel more powerful on the outside, and dimming inside. Maybe that's just what I feel, my perception of the world was never much accurate.
What the hell... let's just see what kind of weird shit happens then. Good luck and sorry, if anything.

Contradictions

- Hey Blister! Come on!
- Wha... so early...
- It's not early, I mean, they normally it's to late when we say we are leaving in hours like these.
- It is early for me, damn. I sleep you know?
- I dun' care about your stupid habits.
- So, what is it that we have to do and it's so important that I can't sleep even though I have to do important things tomorrow?
- WHAT?
- What the fuck are we going to do?!
- Explode buildings I suppose.
- Aww fuck off! You wake me up while there's not even a sun watching us... to do that?!
- Why not? Night is the shit my friend!
- Me sleeping, that's the shit, dork.
- Angry as ever huh?


I wonder. Why don't I just grow up and just do like everyone else. Everyone else seems to be advancing, I still live in my deformed reality.
But I'm happy that they are paving their way into this world, so they can have a good life. Why don't I feel like doing that too? I know many of the problems are easy to solve if I wantd to solve them, why don't I want to solve them? I guess I'll want to do that when it's so late I'll be near death in misery and hopelessness. I like to exaggerate things, take them to bizarre proportions. But it seems nothing satisfies me...


Killing is my business!
Get out of there!
Did you see? I almost killed those evil sabertooths!
They were tigers...
No! They were growing sabertooths! Sooner they would develop those evil fangs and... KILL US ALL!
We have loads of firepower, shut up.
But...
We are not here to hunt animals, we are here to look for the book.
I see but, it's fun!
Hurting animals?
No, living in the wild!
Whatever, please, take that damn warthog costume. And...
But, it makes me thing like them, I can understand them! I'm like a human savage pig!
No doubt you are. Didn't the general say there would be no guns?
Oh... he did?
I'm pretty sure he did.
Then... we'd better find the book fast...
You... stole all these guns?
I... well... you see? Maybe, it all depends on which point of view you are using, for example, if we take the point of view of someone who lives thousands of miles away and doesn't even know we exist, then, according to this very special person, I did not steal.
Punishment room again...


Doesn't matter what I do, I always need more. That sucks. I wanted to be sleeping, but I wanted to be doing something exciting during these wee hours. The contradiction takes us nowhere. I'll probably wake up late again and then feel I should try to sleep earlier and we will have a very similar day. No problem with similar days as long as it pleases you enough. But when is enough?
Once in a while we all need to complain a little, take the weight we carry and throw it somewhere else, even though it's probably the same weight many times. And I mean a LOT of times.
But even though you throw this weight away ten shitloads of times, it will still not seem to be enough. Maybe in fact. But within time you will come up to an answer, that is, if you actually want to solve it, but then, what if you don't want to solve it? Then you have a contradiction, or you're just trying to gather attention.
But that's not about you, it's about what is passing through my head at this exact moment, and I don't really understand it. Perhaps I've fell under a new contradiction, I want to get away from people at the same time I don't want to get away from people because I feel alone. I was always told to look for the balance, but what could be the balance in this case? Well it's obvious.
I wish I were auto-sufficient. Although it's cool to get out with friends, really really cool. But then it ends and you stay with yourself only. And if you pass loads of time with friends the yourself won't be pleased because it will feel like you haven't been giving it much attention lately, then you get a fight with... yourself...
And that sounds pretty lame.
Sometimes it feels good to rant without caring for what you're actually saying, like, what the fuck are you actually trying to say? Perhaps I could resume all this crap to a few phrases. Well, that's not perhaps, that is real, but it seems we like to do things the hard way.
How do you know it is the time to stop, when nothing you do actually feel like enough?
They will say.

Through the nights

You didn't like the movie?
Yes I did, it was really fun. Just like everyone said...
So, why that face?
It's nothing.
I don't really think people get sad because of the nothingness.
Well...
We can make this conversation shorter, you know that. Or we can stay aaaaaaall night loooong...
Sure...
So?
Hm... it's nothing, I mean, it's something, but it's not important.
Sir, with all respect, you're acting like a fool.
A fool?
Yeah, you created me for the sole purpose of serving you, yet you make it impossible for me to help.
Perhaps because I don't wat to be helped.
Then why did you create me?
Well, maybe I was bored.
Bored?
Yeah, then I created you, just to see if I could... and guess what? There you are!
Makes no sense to me.
Humans are senseless, you know that.
I know but, they aren't senseless all the time, there's those bright times when they do things that actually seem to be going somewhere better.
That's a lot of words.
It is, but I know there's something wrong master.
Don't call me master.
Ok. Boss.
Aw... quit it.
I'm not quitting. I'm one of the few beings that actually know to which purpose they serve. I'll achieve it, try to make it impossible if you wish.
Once again, too many words.
Not all important things that are said, are said with a few words.
You just like to speak.
So do you.
Good one.
So, you're lacking people right?
What the hell do you mean?
You need people here.
Why would I need people here?
To talk, you made me nearly the same as you. So you also feel this insane urge to chat.
Maybe, but you are taking it to a very exaggerated level.
Because you also take things to an overkill scheme.
So... you discovered it, now what?
Well, I'll have to get people here so you can talk to them!
Heh... don't you see? There's already people in here.
So... I don't get it.
It's useless.
Well sir, you can't go talking with everyone, maybe these people you're talking about are not... what we need.
And who are those we need?
People you like to talk.
So, I suppose you're gonna convince them to stay here to eternity, talking?
Well I thought of using the brutal way, but we can just convince them.
Listen, people have their own fucking lives, they ain't coming here to spend their stupid lives talking.
So...
It's no use.
But...
Enjoy the show. It might be like this every night, but who cares? It could be worse.
Then maybe we could...
We...?
Yeah, we, we can solve this, we just need to find a way.
The only way is to find a way to make people get over here.
So we'll make people come over.
We need to find the right people and then do something to convince them.
Find?
Do you really think people would be awake at this time?
Well, why not?
You just don't get it.
Then explain to me!
We like to be this way, we like to live in such a way that no one else can accompany us in our journey. Nothing comes close to our wake.
But...