Farewell

August 5, 2008.
I want to write something so beautiful it could make justice to you. I can't. I will fail just as I failed many times. You won't be here anymore. I won't see your smile by the mornings. Nor any other time of the day. I'll never see you sleeping anymore. Nor eating those shrimps you liked. I'll miss you swimming. And the way you kept the body inside the shell when afraid of something. It took some time so I could really touch you. But I'm happy you left the shell and trusted me. Even though turtles do not speak, I don't care. Pets can be better friends than humans. They surely can. And you were. I know I wasn't the example of a friend. I'm sorry. Hope you can accept apologies. I don't know. I just wanted to write something. Because I won't see the look on your face anymore. And this brings tears. I don't care what others may say. This is for you, not for them.
All I can do know is be a better person. That is not fair. But I can take it. I tried not to believe the truth. It seemed better, I could even not think about it. And keep my day going. But it's not fair to you. I don't know what would you have prefered, but I felt like the water would be better. Forgive me if I chose wrong. I know I won't have any answer for as this is definitive but, I feel like talking to you now.
I can't bring you back and I know it. I just hope you are somewhere good. I don't believe in heaven. But there could be one for you, you deserve. There has to be somewhere better for you. Wish I could give you that.
I'll never see you jumping into water anymore. That hurts like hell.
I don't know how big this will get but it's matterless. The reason is your memory. You made this man very happy with your life. And I won't get down now. Your life wasn't in vain, and I promise somehow I'll prove it. Guess I'm not so tough after all. Sorry if I couldn't show emotions very well. I'm sad that you found the worst friend of all. But you really meant a lot for him.
I wish I could listen to some happy song now. But I can't, but that's not your fault. I want you to be well. They say the sad songs are oftenly the most beautiful ones. Perhaps that justify a little.
It's rare to see a tear like this. But I'll stand. And your memory goes with me.
I chose to say farewell as I wish I can still see you again, no matter which life. This sounds childish and dumb but I just don't know what to do. I miss you. And tomorrow morning I'll face an empty space where you used to lie. Please accept these words from this fool. I don't know if I should say that I'm sorry, I don't know to ask for forgiveness, but I can say some words with no doubt. I love you. And we'll miss you. But we take life on with your memory. The memory of your happy face. And the way you swam. And how you got agitated when seeing strangers.
This is in your memory. I'm proud of having you as a friend. All the best for you.