sexta-feira, 18 de março de 2011

Too dark

You should sleep, shouldn't you?
Yes, I should.
Why don't you go?
'Cause I don't want to. 'Cause it's boring.
Boring?
Yep. You lie there and keep on waiting until some weird force decides it's time to stop mocking you and finally let you sleep.
That's a way of seeing it.
I don't want to think.
Why not?
'Cause it sucks.
Why does it suck?
'Cause I'm not very well.
What's going on?
I feel weird.
Weird like what?
Weird like dreadfully lonely.
Well, there's a lot of people around.
I don't care.
But you should...
But they are not useful.
Useful? How can friends not be useful?
They don't serve as the kind of company I want.
Which is?
They don't... they aren't weird like me, I don't feel like I can speak to them like I wanted, about all the weird stuff I keep in my head. I can't really expect them to live in my little world. Just doesn't feel like they would want it or like it or whatever.
So you just want someone who can understand your weird little world?
Not only that, but it doesn't matter. I shouldn't want company.
But you do.
People suck.
Agreed, but, that's what we were given, so we have to use it.
Why does it feel so brutally empty some days?
Because, you feel...
I just wanted to be a fuckin' machine. Machines don't need these stupid things, machines don't get emo at the night when it's dark and everyone else has already made their way into sleeping.
So? I wanted a flying car, but, I'm not dying because of it.
I'm not dying.
I know, that was just one little example.
I don't know exactly what to do. I think I need someone to tell me what to do. Because...
Because...?
I don't even know if I want to cry now. Sometimes it feels like I want to but then when I try to do it, it feels like my eyes are dry. It's stupid to not even be able to cry.
Well, you can still try I guess. Why would you cry?
BECAUSE I'M NOT FEELING WELL, DAMN IT.
So, by this argument of yours, people should be crying like, 70% of their lives.
Fuck you...
Just playin' a little.
I would like to have company through the nights, mostly at the part of the day when I have to sleep.
We can... hunt I guess. For real this time.
Everytime you say that, we just go out and do the same shit.
Well, maybe if you feel so dreadful, we have a little more incentive to do something new.
I don't know, but if this gives me a companion to share nights I guess it's worth a try... I don't know, I just feel too, unstable... I hate them, but I need them... I don't know how should I behave...
What do you mean?
When you're too kind they smack you down, when you're too cold they get sad and go away. I don't know how to proceed.
I also don't know kid, I also don't know...


It seems we are alone, for good.

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