I

I keep my eyes closed. For watching the same sky as everyone else is a burden I do not wish to carry.
I am bored most of the time when I get to be alone.
I feel like my heart is going to explode out of distraught and melancholy.
I hate to feel it beating.
I wonder, I wonder... is there anyone else somewhere facing the sky with their eyes closed? Lying in a public bench thinking and thinking about things that do not change with thinking?
I felt stronger. But to my dismay, it all vanished and we're back to ground zero.
I want my baseball bat.
I know I'm not alone.
I want to believe.
I feel like I'm alone. Left behind by all those who once walked by my side.
I feel like sometimes I take another step into madness. And I can never walk back.
I feel like, that's what I really wanted after all. To abandon sanity and become a foreigner to this world. Perhaps I already am?
I get happy everytime someone says they are there for me.
I get sad right after because I remember it probably isn't true.
I get downright angry because it was a lie.
I get desperate because I don't know when shall I come across one that proves they are there for me, whatever comes next.
I get lost because I'd rather not believe anyone anymore.
I feel like sleeping is becoming something better than being awake.
I cannot trully destroy every tiny bit of hope I have.
I still believe someday I will find she.
I won't hate so much after that.
I doubt so, in fact.
I'll feel better, though.
I get excited because the temple festival is coming. Shall be fun...
I'm tired.


Ich möchte...