Collateral Effects

People need to talk to people, that's normal.
It's revolting and funny at the same time, how you have lots of things to say but when you get to say everything disappears. My head hurts, somehow.
I feel like I have nothing t say, then why do I feel like I need to communicate with people? Mostly, talking. This contradictory behaviour is unsettling. But I'm to blame, I know. I shouldn't have slept out of the time. That sucks. That's why I have nothing to say perhaps. Well, most probably. It's a beautiful night out there, anyway. Who cares.
I can't sleep and now I keep on seeing the image of this cute child holding a pillow as if she was scared, perhaps she just wants to sleep. Well I know how it feels, good to see I can share some kind of feeling with someone, even though it's an imaginary being. Shit.
I like the room like this, it looks cleaner without all those things and decorations. Nice. Reminds me of good things, and I guess most of these things indeed existed. I guess that explains why they say you only know someone when you wake up by their side, without all the makeups we use to appeal to people. Yep, that explains a lot of things. Feels bad to wake up after sleeping in the wrong time, I don't know why other people don't feel like this after sleeping in wrong hours. This would be a great time to go a killing spree. Well, sort of.
I know, I know, I admit that the extreme contrary is also truth. Perhaps this is the time when extremes show up, not that I'm with balance most of the time. In these times my deal with music gets even more apparent, that's a good point of it. It's curious how these things are relative, I can recognize the rage in songs that aren't the biggest examples of hatred. They are rather tame, as compared to some other things known to man, if you get what I mean.
Perhaps I should go out, ride around the city, well that wouldn't fix the thing, and would be quite expensive at the end of the day... yeah, that's not an option.
Is this unstability?
Now I'm thinking of pizza, guess I'm hungry. I should eat something.
Argh. Perhaps it was a bad idea to dig until I could find what I really thought, these stupid thoughts are taking over. How do people control their thoughts?
Stupid thoughts trying to hunt me, they won't win. I don't fucking need someone. I like this cold breeze. Stupid bubblebum girl. It's funny to say stupid and also think about being with her. Not exactly funny, just childish. I like these lights in the dark, ah stupid night.
Can't sleep, clowns will eat me...
Clowns... I can't even use forced fear, these images don't work now.
I don't need her, nor anyone else.
Stupid bubblegum girl. Stupid humanity.