Shattered glass

We are living in a place where walls are made of glass. You can see through them as long as you take care of them. You know what comes ahead, and it knows where you are. It is a safe place if you take care of it.
But once in a while, we lose control and start to destroy what is ours. We destroy things we once swore to protected with our lives. Sometimes, we destroy them in a desperate attempt to protect. And then it gets broken, it gets hard to see what lies beneath when the walls are cracked. These cracks distort our vision of what's around. Sometimes, this makes us desperate, makes us angry. And we just shatter these walls even further.
Even further...
We are living surrounded by shattered glass.
I can't repair it...


Someday I'll get to understand why do I always create a story for every single thought or event, doesn't matter how insignificant they are.
I am... insane. On a quest for a description of myself, in fact, I'm on a lot of quests, somehow I'll get better when I have accomplished 'em all. Talking to a lot of people to get advice and some small details of life that I have left behind. Trying to keep the bad thoughts away.
But that's irrelevant now. Or irrelephant, if the one to whom I write now prefer.
I have decided a few things on the topic of forgiving. I don't really understand very much what is forgivingness even now. I'm mostly letting it be this way, until it sleeps. Although I have a record of very rancorous temper, and I'm vengeful ever since I was a child. But, I'm aware of it, and one of the things I've forced myself to understand is that you can't revenge all the time. It hurts a bit to think that this time I won't be giving 'em what they deserve. I wonder what do people think when they read these stuff.
At the moment I would ask, what do YOU think? Not that it would change much of what I decided, but it's always good to hear some opinions.
As long as she doesn't come any closer, I'll do my best to let it rest. Otherwise, well, I'll just put the cards on the table. No bruising, I promise. I'll just say I don't need such company, and some other things.
Or, as you said, I don't deserve it. I like some details of the things you write. Most people would write "You can't be continuously..." or "You shouldn't allow yourself to be continuously...", in this occasion. They normally write ''You don't deserve to be continuously..." to those who are really close to them. Different, indeed, I like that. I appreciate your concern and the fact that even though you don't really know who or what could I be, you show you care.
Do not apologize, I don't like it when people say they are sorry. I've developed a very skeptical mind regarding that. I feel like it's too easy to say ''I'm sorry''. Still, I'm not going to say that if you're sorry you should show it some other way. You are already doing more than what you should and I am very fond of your thoughts so far.
You see, some days I feel all serious and polite, and other days I feel like a pit of rage. But every single day, I'm trying to cover it up, being aware of what should I say to people, since most aren't to be blamed for my temper.
I am, as I said, on a quest to get a description of myself, but I'd say I'm a child. At least sometimes. An angry child, you may say. But I'm, slowly and afraid of what may come after every turn, trying. I don't know whether my choice will have a succesful result. I have my doubts about it. It's a very well-developed chain, it took years to achieve such an incredible resistance to any damage, and I made sure it would come out perfect, it was my token of a lonely life through eternity since I didn't quite believe I was to be a part of something, someday. It's one hell of a battle to break it, just saying again to assure you of it.
But it's easier when there's someone else. So, thanks.


I feel like asking for a story, but that's just my childish side asking for assurance. In fact, it's just asking for company.