Raging, part 2

When will this end?
I don't know. But why would you like it to end? It will start again anyway.
It would be good, even if it doesn't take long between ending and starting again.
Why don't you just die?
I don't know, I guess it's because even after all your attempts at becoming a machine, or becoming someone despicable and lost in hatred, we still have hope.
Hope...
Yeah, and don't pretend you don't have that.
Go to hell.


You see, we are different.
How does it feel, being different?
It feels... I don't know, I don't know how does it feel being the same.
And what is the point of being different?
You can... be yourself...?
And why is that good?
Because, you don't need to obey what others say you have to do.
But you still ending on doing those things right?
Right... well... sometimes you have to...
And... you feel weird right?
Well, everyone does, sometimes...
And, what do you get, exactly?
You... I don't know.
Well, my point is clear.


I'm losing. But I'm losing in a different way this time. I'm losing with much more effort than I have lost before. I'm aiming at some kind of self destruction. Perhaps that's the right way, the way I can break the cycle. But I just wanted to have someone to do stupid things and at the end of the day lie at the grass and look at the sky.
I don't know, I can't stop these contradictions, because at the same time I want to be alone and get the means to destroy all those nearby. I'm getting more targets to hate. I guess that's good.
Can you help me find something to target my hatred so it forgets me? Can you give me a baseball bat? Can you make me sleep?
We are all too scared, deep down...
I just hate you all.