So, here we are again, at the same place that warps us to other places in hours that we should be at even another place. Listening to... the song that reminds us of the fourth place. Well, it's more like a situation but using some tolerance to poetic license to see it as a place.
I live in many places at once and no place at all. I like to see my behaviour as a paradox. That must be quite clear, anyway. But it is good to use some redundancy, just to make sure people understand my way of talking about things not talking about them. Okay, enough.
What should we be talking about here? I don't remember exactly. Been a bit distant lately, not glacial mode though. But quite close to activating it. I guess the research on The Human Centipede helped it a bit, no, I haven't seen it yet and probably won't, I'm quite sure it will be a big let down even though I really appreciate the idea. Let's just hope for the sequence, shall we? Maybe the evil clown toy helped also. Well, that's a good guess. Good to feel fear with that intensity, sometimes.
Have you ever felt like there was just so much activity within the people around you and at the same time, nothing was going on? I guess the answer would mostly be ''yes''. As long as you answered it honestly, that is. Because, we are pretty much alike. We just, are too quiet to know it.
I guess the primary topic is the doubt. The big ugly shadowy being that keeps on scratching relationships until they are dry, totally out of blood. Once communication fails and the doubt starts it's reign, pretty much everything is set to explode. Or crumble slowly in agony. You can never trust the person again like you did before. Because you simply don't know, and by not knowing something you classified as important, you start to wonder whether you can trust that person in... pretty much anything else. It's a dramatic and exaggerated way of putting things but it has some resemblance with reality. Slowly you get away because cold wars require you to proceed this way. These little patterns and last resorts of logic that live into our chaotic way of living.
I'm still not very comfortable with my new eyes. Even though I can see the beauty in skies and walls and... I don't know, pretty much anything that randomly I think that's pretty and videogame-like, since reality is ugly and the pretty scenery was into games, to start with. Do not discuss this, I'm a lost case in these topics and I'll insist in the loss.
I don't really know what my new eyes mean. I hope I can get a satisfying answer soon.
I also don't like this weird loneliness that made itself at home. It's a different kind of ''being alone'', well, it's not new anyway. But I like these cold days. Remind me of snow, and hot chocolate, and... christmas. Oh, now the song with december on it's name. Good.
I'm a little bit lost nowadays, you know, sort of like how you are when you need people to cheer you up. But not like that since I'm not very receptive to people doing these things. Gotta be more specific than random people coming and saying ''Well done!''. Creating this need for things to be specific is quite stupid.
But I've had these talks with some people in recent days, was quite entertaining I can tell. It's strange to deal with the images we make of people, and it's also impossible not to create some kind of image of someone. I like to talk to people. It's fun.
I still haven't found the fourth way of dealing with things, but hey, we are just starting.
Now into the second, or... tenth, topic... it's stupid how we put so much hopes into a girl isn't it?
Okay, next topic. Not that I'm trying to derail it, we just have to focus on this one next topic because it is very important.
I'm a bit bored. They didn't teach me how to sleep like them, fuckers.
I like the night. Damn, we need more people to go through the nights with us. Well, we had better stop while we are not that bad.
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