Get the guts...

So, in the end the truth is that, I didn't really sleep. But I somehow don't have the guts to tell it.
I've heard her saying that it was a good thing that I was sleeping there because once I got home I would probably be unable to sleep. In fact, it's not that I wanted her to believe because I thought she would get sad, it's just that it's better to pretend that this is real, I want to believe.
But, even though I stood there listening silently to all their words, it was still better, because I felt calm. That takes us straight to the point.
The horrible point.
I want company. Like, being with someone. Sure, that's not going to be an easy thing... but at least for a while having some friends around is working, even though it's not like having someone, who wants to really be with you and all that, it's still better than being with myself. I feel better if I get to sleep with these people around...
It's confusing. But at least admitting makes it easier I guess.
I still feel alone.
That's not going to last forever right?
It won't... it can't.


We'll find someone who can make you sleep... and you will be able to protect her... and at the end of the day it will feel like it was worth it... no matter what it costs...