I stand alone

Why does it seem we are going crazy so much nowadays?
I mean, we are always a little bit of lunatic, but just a bit, it was like this before the change, and it was like this after the change. But not anymore.
They say things change, always, for good or for bad. I guess that's true, because I thought that I was okay, and I wanted things to be okay, aka not changing.
BUT, there's always something weird happening. Be it the fact that your sleep is totally deranged, if you sleep early you woke up late, and then you lost your morning. If you sleep late, you wake up late, so at least you don't lose the initial hours of your morning. BUT in both cases, you sleep like shit. That's it, sleeping seemed stupid because you thought you were wasting time before. Now it's senseless, because you're not only wasting time, but you're also waking up so freakin' tired it's almost as you haven't slept at all. And man, that sucks.
What else sucks, to lose your concentration. I don't even know what people told me like, hours ago. I know this is an altered version of the truth, I know what some people told me recently. But not all. I never was someone who could give super attention to things, you know I'm kinda numb on that matter. BUT now I can't even get to remember important things people said. That is, if they really said because I don't remember. But since they are complaining about it, I guess they said. Well it's okay, that just shows the real me that was hidden. Perhaps that's me, giving no shit about these people. And I don't really care, I can't care. Everything looks so... empty. And then you start seeing the bad things people have. And boy they have. Problem is, once you start seeing, it's all you see. Let them live their lives, I guess I'm done with it. They don't care to make these things better, so I'm not caring either. Should I talk to them? WHY?
You start to think that maybe you haven't really fulfilled your objectives. You are no different, you are still more with the people than with yourself. Come, get the fuck up. You are the one who really matters in this pile of shit. The people? To hell with them. They will be gone sooner or later.
You see, there's something strange going on. But strange to the common patterns they have set for you to follow. But it was always there, lurking. Perhaps the lack of real sleep makes people go nuts. And being nuts you can't control your freak side anymore. AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
It makes sense. It MAKES SENSE after some time. Now that's weird. But I guess I'm done with these people. I don't know. Maybe it's just now, I just need to sleep, but I was already told there is a lot of people in this world. I'll never find someone who has no bad side, but maybe I can find people that fits me better. Who knows?
I don't know. And I don't feel like knowing a shit so soon. But, I guess I'm alone this time. Maybe we need to be alone. So we can find. And after we find we think a lot. Right?
Shall we think a lot when we find? I guess maybe.
I don't really feel like talking because I guess I won't like the aftermath anyway. Those bad things that happen. But hey, they say friendship is a thing that can endure horrors. I don't know, perhaps this horror here can't endure friendship anymore. I'm strange. Way stranger than I thought I was. And now I see how contradicting I am. Because I don't know, maybe it's just fear doing it's job. But it seems like this is not a good idea, but then it makes sense, and if I talk to anyone about it they won't see any sense at all. Because this is against the fucking pattern. The pattern. Why can't I just fucking follow it? Are we... evil?
No that's not evil. I guess not. You see, I think my arguments are bad so it's no use to talk about it. They are busy anyway, busy busy busy. As you should be. Shouldn't you?
Yes we should. So... you'll be busy working for me, that means you work for us, so you work for yourself. And this time you won't feel unhappy anymore. See. No more.
I wish there was a more pyrotechnical way of throwing that away. But then I probably would have some serious trouble with the law. Maybe I'll have trouble with the law lately. Who knows?
Maybe the law is evil.
Maybe not. You see, I liked things the way they were, but they are not anymore. And I want my older me back. WHY NOT? I can have it, we all can. And then we can control it, so we can manage to find what we need to find. You see, I don't really think it's useful to fight for these people anymore. And I know you're afraid of the lone stand. We all are, but that's like the preparation for a monstrous roller coaster ride. And maybe we can't find any, BUT we will have tried. And then maybe it's better to be alone. Because it seems we are different. Why didn't they teach us to feel the things the way people are supposed to feel? See, they are the evil ones behind this scheme.
And we'll get them. Oh boy, we'll get them all.
And I stand alone. And a part of me didn't really want to make you worry. But I guess that's what it takes to go after something you like. Right? Anyway, who gives a shit. Weird times be coming.
And oh boy, they come.