Feelings

Such is the loser of the night.
One who cannot truly sleep unless exceedingly tired.
One who cannot sleep if too tired because randomly dreams will take his prize.
I know, I know, this was just one minor defeat, like all the many other nights. But it felt boring. Well, not boring, but it felt bad and I don't know how to describe that exactly.
I had a strange dream, thinking about it now, it looks pretty ridiculous, but I was really absorbed by it. Sometimes we believe in what we want to believe, even if it is downright flawed. It feels strange to think that I was actually creating some sort of homage for Mike, with a prize. Was it all for the reward? I wonder...
Where did all that come? Where is it going? All the answers that did not appear, yet felt like they could be found if I insisted... huh, be careful what you wish for...

These days are pretty confusing.
I guess the choices are all presented already, sometimes you just need to accept what's over the table, sometimes that's all there is...