Fire at will

Fear? You think that what roams free around here is fear? Fear is normal, as normal as grass growing below your feet.
This is bellowing despair, my fellow gentlemen, and this time, shit will blow up.


It's almost as if you were defeated. Except for the fact you haven't fought yet.


Knelt down, throat malfunctioning, breathing with effort, heart pounding in pain...
...
They won, I guess.
...
What. A. Shame. *grins*


You know what's worst? The worst part about all this is that I failed those to whom I promised things would get better. I kept all this reward thing as word-only. Doesn't matter how much I could care about failing things in the university or work. And I do care, I know it's important. But I feel I for the most part, failed being a friend. It's not getting better, it's getting a bigger failure, and I'm afraid. Afraid I can't reward them as much as they deserved.
Well, then, it's your lucky turn.
What?
You have the chance of turning the table, taking that bitter taste off your mouth. Winning, and then going to them, to offer their deserved roles in this victory.
I don't think I can do it.
There's two important points in this thing. It's either believing in yourself, or simply taking your words out of the fire. Can't do it for yourself? Do it for them. Prove it's not a defeat. Remember that phrase, you try, you fail, and then you fucking try again, and again, and again, and fail, again, and again. Because life sometimes ain't about winning, but about failing so much better that to everyone else it's a victory.
I just wanted to be as good as them.
As I said, you've just gotten lucky. Now get some blood in these hands, your daily lions aren't going to commit suicide. You have to man up and bring 'em down.


You know what's funny?
What's funny?
Even after all this time, you still come all this way to help me.
When things start to get so bad even a lord of hell can't sleep, the least you have to do is be there, even if crumble together is all you get to do.
I told you I'm not a lord of hell.
Then you really need help, because even those have already lost the ability to sleep.


And soon night falls over the front.
Night is good.