Somewhere happy

So, I can only tell you that it does not exist.
But it does. There certainly is a place where you can be happy. Where there won't be people to bother you, and you can enjoy being with yourself. It looks lonely if you look at it with skeptic eyes but, I can assure you that it's better than it sounds. Way better.
The thing is, it exists, partially.
But, you can never go there... because, that's the place where human contact cannot harm you. And, you are already tainted with it, so, reaching it would annihilate the whole place and it would then become a place like every other.
But, at least, getting close to it makes you feel already better, so, just by trying to get there you can already enjoy. It's like, one of those invisible force fields that make those funny noises and blue effects when you get too close, and it blocks you. But you already feel good by being close, and then you try to get closer to feel even better, and you can, but you should never, ever, break the force field and actually get there, not like you could, anyway.
For some people it may work, I guess. For those who can never feel satisfied, like me, I guess it wouldn't help. So, I'm staying in touch with the real world, with people. Though I'm better alone.
Is there anyone out there wanting to merge forces in a death squad?
Just wondering...
I wonder, does anyone else out there see things as I see? Like, you're walking through the place you always walk, like your university, then it's night and a very common place looks like it's just gotten out of a movie or something like that? It's nice... people should try to look at dumb special locations more often.
I want to give people scars.
Hug me and I'll kill you, I really will... I will...