Less than 48 hours now...
I see the gatekeepers again, they found me. They are unhappy by merely guarding the gates of Despair Heights, they want me there. They can find me anytime...
RUN!
Oh my, oh my... guess those alive are always showing their... lively faces, huh?
...
So silent, my boy... we should be commemorating! 22 years of servitude!
I do not serve you...
SILENCE!
Dead bodies, dead bodies everywhere. Dreadful creatures roaming free...
Blood and guts covering the air as bodies are thrown, I don't know where do they get so many people to kill, but it startles me. It startles me that I come back here everytime...
Frantic...
They scream, they run... mutilating and chewing, playing with corpses as if they were toys...
Blood covers us, it's as if they couldn't get us, yet they try to frighten or annoy, covering us in limbs...
A cut in my ear... I don't like this place... I hear children screaming...
"DO NOT DESPAIR, DO NOT DESPAIR, DO NOT DESPAIR..."
The voices... the voices, make them stop!!
You can run, and I will ever find you, you are never leaving us, never, NEVER!
The insane laughter...
What if I ask? What if I ask? I can ask...
DO NOT EVEN BOTHER!
Please, please is it too much to ask to have a whole night with my friends and then we can sleep, everyone in matresses all over the room, wake up and eat breakfast as if we had no responsability over other things...
GIVE UP, NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU HERE!
Please please...
Blood spills everywhere... the innocent pay...
Why do we have to die if we didn't do anything wrong, to which a simple "because you are alive" comes.
There is no way out and the numbers are against us, they never sleep...
Is it too much to ask for a surprise?
What if it is, weakling?
Tongues cut.
Is it possible for them to prepare you a surprise, just as the surprises you prepare? DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE IT? That somehow some shall call others that you don't see a long time ago, and you will then be able to see them again?! Vomit, vomit blood...
...
Vomit, vomit your soul out. You can't take measures against us.
Light fades, and no one comes...
The city bursts into flames... glass shattering everywhere... there's the end in every corner... I hate this day...
It's covered in disappointment... because I expect too much... why?
I can remember the taste of last year, that stupid dream... I can hear their voices laughing at me...
Nothing shall happen...
"But it doesn't have to be this way..."
It has, because I have to learn that surprises won't come like that.
"They can come..."
More than twenty years and I haven't learnt that yet...
"Because you hope..."
Because I am stupid enough to expect that something special is going to happen.
"It is a special day after all..."
There's nothing special.
"There is..."
...
"You can feel it if you really put your heart into it..."
She won't appear.
"Maybe... but, have you given her an appearance?"
Doesn't matter, I'd rather be alone. I am made of those bizarre things after all, ain't I?
"Bizarre but not entirely bad..."
You know I don't have strength to fight you...
"I do... because at the moment I'm the personification of her..."
As if...
"But when she comes, you'll have to face me..."
Oh, sure.
"You're a kind boy, don't let them take you back to Despair Heights... you don't deserve it..."
Perhaps I belong there.
"No, not there... come..."
Where we goin'?
"For now, you're going to sleep..."
...
"I'l make you sleep and I'll stay here, ok?"
Ok...
Hmph, stupid.
quarta-feira, 10 de agosto de 2011
terça-feira, 9 de agosto de 2011
Chains
There's a legend about a man, whose sole purpose in life was to create chains. He was some sort of specialized blacksmith, a skillful creator of chains.
He had the ability of creating chains for the most varied uses, from mere acessories to industrial machinery needs. Chains that were as delicate and fragile as the hearts of those who gave them as gifts to their beloved ones, chains that were as thick and tough as the hatred of those who grew into war, imprisoned by their enemies through eternity.
Within time, he got renowned. His prices skyrocketed as his clients' requests raised. Yet, he managed to fulfill their wishes. It didn't matter whether it had to be blue or yellow, made of gold or steel. He developed chains that had no weakest link. Perfect.
His crafts seemed to get better and better, as if there was no limit for his perfection.
This drew the attention of a man, an unknown face with lots to offer. No one had the guts to ask where did he come from, nor how had he attained so much wealth. All that was known, was that he had a humongous request for the crafter. As if he had waited years until the blacksmith had reached a desired level of ability.
The blacksmith occupied all his time with the request, he did not accept any other client for a while. Rumor had it that the strange man had asked for some kind of magical chain, or perhaps, a chain so incredible that even the most skillful crafter that ever walked the earth could not craft.
For weeks he disappeared from their eyes. No one had seen him, and rumors started to spread. They started to acknowledge that perhaps, the blacksmith wouldn't work for them anymore. Perhaps, he had died trying to achieve the most brilliant chain ever made.
As it turned out, they almost got it right.
On a rainy night, as insane laughter was heard from afar. It came out of the blacksmith's house. He had, finally, achieved it.
The next day, he was found walking through the city. Insane. Telling stories about suffering and pain, even though he hadn't much more than thirty years, he had gained the appearance of a gloomy old man, deranged by his creation.
The chain of hatred.
Legend has it, that the one who bears this chain around their neck, shall acquire knowledge beyond belief. But it comes with a price, the chain feeds on it's bearer's soul. It transforms his memories, concerning those around him. It grants knowledge, and enemies. The bearer becomes obsessed with vengeance, believing that it's the only way to have their way back at those who did bad things to him in the past.
In the end, the most intelligent men succumb to their urge for revenge, alone, dreaming about killing those around him.
The blacksmith, however, made this special chain, the one and only with a weakest link. It can be broken, somehow...
I like chains, and I wondered about stories involving them. I don't really understand the purpose of this story though, just wrote it. Perhaps it can make sense in a way. But I wanted to tell you that, I do not understand forgivingness. I mean, I understand the basic meaning of it, as most people do. But I don't see how that would work in this very situation.
Some people, are not worth it. If they were, I suppose they would try to show their worth.
The way I see, forgiving in this case would be repeating the mistakes from the past, going after people again and again, even when THEY were the ones who had to come after me.
It looks so easy for them, I say "I forgive you", then they are free. But you can not assure me that I'll be free of it. If I could leave rage behind just by saying those three words, then believe me, I would have already spoken 'em.
But it's not so simple, I wish it was. I admire that you can say such words sincerely and then be free of the bad emotions, but I can not. My memory is far too good and my pain has grown far too much to let me humiliate myself for this.
As I read your words, it made some sense, and I felt like I wanted to forgive her. But I see some holes in your arguments, if I just said the words, they wouldn't be sincere. I could see myself saying "I forgive you because someone told me to, you should be thankful to her". This doesn't look like forgiving with all sincerity. And I don't see how would saying these words take my rage away. To forgive is to say these words? I don't think so, and I am left wondering, what is "to forgive someone"?
I am open to discuss this if you want. But I have to warn you that I am already locked in my thoughts as they are, and I'll hardly accept new ones that look more light-hearted. Still, I'd love to be surprised. Once again, I must ask if you are up for the challenge.
Are you?
He had the ability of creating chains for the most varied uses, from mere acessories to industrial machinery needs. Chains that were as delicate and fragile as the hearts of those who gave them as gifts to their beloved ones, chains that were as thick and tough as the hatred of those who grew into war, imprisoned by their enemies through eternity.
Within time, he got renowned. His prices skyrocketed as his clients' requests raised. Yet, he managed to fulfill their wishes. It didn't matter whether it had to be blue or yellow, made of gold or steel. He developed chains that had no weakest link. Perfect.
His crafts seemed to get better and better, as if there was no limit for his perfection.
This drew the attention of a man, an unknown face with lots to offer. No one had the guts to ask where did he come from, nor how had he attained so much wealth. All that was known, was that he had a humongous request for the crafter. As if he had waited years until the blacksmith had reached a desired level of ability.
The blacksmith occupied all his time with the request, he did not accept any other client for a while. Rumor had it that the strange man had asked for some kind of magical chain, or perhaps, a chain so incredible that even the most skillful crafter that ever walked the earth could not craft.
For weeks he disappeared from their eyes. No one had seen him, and rumors started to spread. They started to acknowledge that perhaps, the blacksmith wouldn't work for them anymore. Perhaps, he had died trying to achieve the most brilliant chain ever made.
As it turned out, they almost got it right.
On a rainy night, as insane laughter was heard from afar. It came out of the blacksmith's house. He had, finally, achieved it.
The next day, he was found walking through the city. Insane. Telling stories about suffering and pain, even though he hadn't much more than thirty years, he had gained the appearance of a gloomy old man, deranged by his creation.
The chain of hatred.
Legend has it, that the one who bears this chain around their neck, shall acquire knowledge beyond belief. But it comes with a price, the chain feeds on it's bearer's soul. It transforms his memories, concerning those around him. It grants knowledge, and enemies. The bearer becomes obsessed with vengeance, believing that it's the only way to have their way back at those who did bad things to him in the past.
In the end, the most intelligent men succumb to their urge for revenge, alone, dreaming about killing those around him.
The blacksmith, however, made this special chain, the one and only with a weakest link. It can be broken, somehow...
I like chains, and I wondered about stories involving them. I don't really understand the purpose of this story though, just wrote it. Perhaps it can make sense in a way. But I wanted to tell you that, I do not understand forgivingness. I mean, I understand the basic meaning of it, as most people do. But I don't see how that would work in this very situation.
Some people, are not worth it. If they were, I suppose they would try to show their worth.
The way I see, forgiving in this case would be repeating the mistakes from the past, going after people again and again, even when THEY were the ones who had to come after me.
It looks so easy for them, I say "I forgive you", then they are free. But you can not assure me that I'll be free of it. If I could leave rage behind just by saying those three words, then believe me, I would have already spoken 'em.
But it's not so simple, I wish it was. I admire that you can say such words sincerely and then be free of the bad emotions, but I can not. My memory is far too good and my pain has grown far too much to let me humiliate myself for this.
As I read your words, it made some sense, and I felt like I wanted to forgive her. But I see some holes in your arguments, if I just said the words, they wouldn't be sincere. I could see myself saying "I forgive you because someone told me to, you should be thankful to her". This doesn't look like forgiving with all sincerity. And I don't see how would saying these words take my rage away. To forgive is to say these words? I don't think so, and I am left wondering, what is "to forgive someone"?
I am open to discuss this if you want. But I have to warn you that I am already locked in my thoughts as they are, and I'll hardly accept new ones that look more light-hearted. Still, I'd love to be surprised. Once again, I must ask if you are up for the challenge.
Are you?
segunda-feira, 8 de agosto de 2011
Temple, day 2
Sabe, sabe, sabe? Eu queria que tivesse mais alguém por ae que pudesse ver isso, mas não tem...
Mas talvez tenha! E eu não posso desistir de procurar, porque senão vai ser tudo em vão. E não PODE ser, não VAI ser. É esquisito, não rolou de ir no templo hoje, acho que isso invalida a aposta por minha parte e portanto eu perco, mas sinto como uma derrota tão massa que parece que ganhei.
No regrets. Faltou pouco pra ficar realmente FODA hoje... dá uma sensação legal chegar tão perto assim, como se... porra, rola mesmo?
Se eu pedir, será que acontece? Eu entendo que eu cobro muita coisa que as pessoas não tem como adivinhar, o que eu queria é que elas fossem malucas como eu, procurar jeitos de ajudar/agradar os outros, mas, bom, não importa. Me is happy.
Por pouco tempo, as ever, mas, é legal. É legal.
É estranho. Eu em parte odeio essa minha fixação escrota em tentar fazer mais e mais por aqueles próximos à mim. Coisas da carência excessiva, mas, isso também será consertado nessas férias. Ainda tenho alguns dias, posso consertar várias coisas ainda, claro não dá pra consertar tudo, nunca dá pra consertar tudo. Mas eu vou me consertar o máximo possível. Vou aprender a ser um ser humano como eles.
É estranho estar entre estar feliz e odiar. Acho que odiar é uma constante, né? Quando se tem memória boa e um comportamento rancoroso/vingativo, é normal...
Não dá pra parar de odiar e pensar que é melhor eu ficar sozinho. Assim como pelos meus resquícios de humanidade não consigo lidar muito com a ideia de estar sempre sozinho. Não falando de amigos, estou aprendendo que nesse quesito não estou sozinho.
Ah hm, queria dizer obrigado por hoje. Mas eu nunca sei direito achar as palavras certas pra expressar o que foi importante pra mim, e sei lá, eu fico com essa sensação de que foi uma coisa simples e as pessoas ficam meio entediadas de eu agradecer ou não entendem ou sei lá. Bom que fique registrado aqui então, aqui não tem problema.
Tenho que segurar minha vontade bizonha de retribuir.
Desespero esquisito que fica sempre à espreita...
All too weird.
Fica a dúvida, devo pedir? Ou não?
Dia 12 chegando, sempre tive um certo receio do meu aniversário chegando... é um dia estranho. Nunca sei o que fazer e sempre quis fazer algo que as pessoas realmente pensassem "porra que foda"... cobrança excessiva I guess.
Não tenho dormido muito, yet I feel so excited.
Acho que vou dormir no pontão na terça.
É estranho mas vez em quando tenho que descarregar, sei lá.
Porque eu sou louco.
Durmam bem aqueles que estiverem indo dormir e eu me importar.
Espero que estejam dormindo bem aqueles que estiverem dormindo e eu me importar.
Dormir, dormir, dormir, parece tão pouco, será que eu consigo?
Mas talvez tenha! E eu não posso desistir de procurar, porque senão vai ser tudo em vão. E não PODE ser, não VAI ser. É esquisito, não rolou de ir no templo hoje, acho que isso invalida a aposta por minha parte e portanto eu perco, mas sinto como uma derrota tão massa que parece que ganhei.
No regrets. Faltou pouco pra ficar realmente FODA hoje... dá uma sensação legal chegar tão perto assim, como se... porra, rola mesmo?
Se eu pedir, será que acontece? Eu entendo que eu cobro muita coisa que as pessoas não tem como adivinhar, o que eu queria é que elas fossem malucas como eu, procurar jeitos de ajudar/agradar os outros, mas, bom, não importa. Me is happy.
Por pouco tempo, as ever, mas, é legal. É legal.
É estranho. Eu em parte odeio essa minha fixação escrota em tentar fazer mais e mais por aqueles próximos à mim. Coisas da carência excessiva, mas, isso também será consertado nessas férias. Ainda tenho alguns dias, posso consertar várias coisas ainda, claro não dá pra consertar tudo, nunca dá pra consertar tudo. Mas eu vou me consertar o máximo possível. Vou aprender a ser um ser humano como eles.
É estranho estar entre estar feliz e odiar. Acho que odiar é uma constante, né? Quando se tem memória boa e um comportamento rancoroso/vingativo, é normal...
Não dá pra parar de odiar e pensar que é melhor eu ficar sozinho. Assim como pelos meus resquícios de humanidade não consigo lidar muito com a ideia de estar sempre sozinho. Não falando de amigos, estou aprendendo que nesse quesito não estou sozinho.
Ah hm, queria dizer obrigado por hoje. Mas eu nunca sei direito achar as palavras certas pra expressar o que foi importante pra mim, e sei lá, eu fico com essa sensação de que foi uma coisa simples e as pessoas ficam meio entediadas de eu agradecer ou não entendem ou sei lá. Bom que fique registrado aqui então, aqui não tem problema.
Tenho que segurar minha vontade bizonha de retribuir.
Desespero esquisito que fica sempre à espreita...
All too weird.
Fica a dúvida, devo pedir? Ou não?
Dia 12 chegando, sempre tive um certo receio do meu aniversário chegando... é um dia estranho. Nunca sei o que fazer e sempre quis fazer algo que as pessoas realmente pensassem "porra que foda"... cobrança excessiva I guess.
Não tenho dormido muito, yet I feel so excited.
Acho que vou dormir no pontão na terça.
É estranho mas vez em quando tenho que descarregar, sei lá.
Porque eu sou louco.
Durmam bem aqueles que estiverem indo dormir e eu me importar.
Espero que estejam dormindo bem aqueles que estiverem dormindo e eu me importar.
Dormir, dormir, dormir, parece tão pouco, será que eu consigo?
domingo, 7 de agosto de 2011
Temple, first day
I feel... strange.
The oscillations of hatred still exist. But I don't know, I think I can consider my walking project finished. I just gotta process all the data I've acquired. First, I've got to sleep I guess. I liked the temple today, it was good. Been extremely excited all day.
But now it's time to sleep. I wonder...
So much data.
Well, there's more temple tomorrow.
I get a bit sad but I won't let that get me. I'll just, sleep, and dream something nice, that's it.
We can end this useless report with a phrase that seemed most powerful today. It can perhaps close the whole project with success.
Not that I'm closing the project anyway, I like to walk and to talk to people so, it's still running, somewhere back there.
"So, who wants to go for a walk?"
Oh yes, the phrase.
"If you want good friends, be a different friend."
I like it.
The oscillations of hatred still exist. But I don't know, I think I can consider my walking project finished. I just gotta process all the data I've acquired. First, I've got to sleep I guess. I liked the temple today, it was good. Been extremely excited all day.
But now it's time to sleep. I wonder...
So much data.
Well, there's more temple tomorrow.
I get a bit sad but I won't let that get me. I'll just, sleep, and dream something nice, that's it.
We can end this useless report with a phrase that seemed most powerful today. It can perhaps close the whole project with success.
Not that I'm closing the project anyway, I like to walk and to talk to people so, it's still running, somewhere back there.
"So, who wants to go for a walk?"
Oh yes, the phrase.
"If you want good friends, be a different friend."
I like it.
sexta-feira, 5 de agosto de 2011
Houyou
—We'll keep on watching over them.
—We will?
We sit at the stairs right in front of the entrance to the temple. The night is a bit cold and the moon shines the darkness away.
—Of course. You can't stop that, never wondered why it didn't matter how angry you got, sooner or later you'd be worrying about them, once again?
—I know, but...
—You'd rather change topics, right?
She smiles.
There's a lot of people running and walking around, the festival is now crowded as I expected it to be. Many things going through my head, but I remain silent instead of speaking.
—It's been a while since you were this happy, right?
—Huh? Happy?
—I mean, happy like these people. Sure, people are different and your happiness comes out in a different way, but you're not happy lately.
—That's no news.
—I know, oh come on, I know how you feel even with all the weird masks and the infinite barriers. We're akin, and you should trust me a lil' bit more. Pleeease?
I like this place, I don't know why. It could be said that a part of me waits a whole year until August comes again, just so I can be there. It gives me a weird sensation that's both good and bad...
—Why should I?
—Oh... because... I can help find that which you've been looking for so eagerly.
—And what is it that I'm looking for?
—Well...
She whispers the words in my ears.
—Ah, and YOU can help me finding that?
—Sure!
—I guess we'll have to work on that later.
—So what now?
I look to the sky. The moon is there. I used to say think that "at least the sky is still there for us". Never had I trully understood what did that phrase really mean, I just wanted to say it as a mean of not feeling alone. I like the fact that she doesn't speak when I'm deeply lost thinking, as if she could understand this.
People running around, looks fun.
We're still there, sitting at the stairs. I turn to face her.
—You're not saying anything?
—Ah, I... no. I was just thinking.
—I see.
We look at the gate ahead. People coming in, people going out...
—Hey, be useful.
I lay my head on her lap. That's what normally has to be said before I do it, she seems a bit surprised. Still, we're there at the stairs, amidst all the chaos of the festival.
—You wanted adrenaline, didn't you?
—What do you mean?
—Well, I know that you always come here waiting for something incredible to happen. But it never does, not even today.
—You can't win them all, right?
—Yeah...
—And it's good already.
Those happy and slow songs... I suppose they call it Bon Odori... that sensation...
Neither good or bad after all I guess. Just different.
—They're gone now, everyone went to the dancing place.
—Huh?
—Nothing, it doesn't matter.
—Even if they were here...
—...We're invisible.
—As expected.
Good to be here.
—We will?
We sit at the stairs right in front of the entrance to the temple. The night is a bit cold and the moon shines the darkness away.
—Of course. You can't stop that, never wondered why it didn't matter how angry you got, sooner or later you'd be worrying about them, once again?
—I know, but...
—You'd rather change topics, right?
She smiles.
There's a lot of people running and walking around, the festival is now crowded as I expected it to be. Many things going through my head, but I remain silent instead of speaking.
—It's been a while since you were this happy, right?
—Huh? Happy?
—I mean, happy like these people. Sure, people are different and your happiness comes out in a different way, but you're not happy lately.
—That's no news.
—I know, oh come on, I know how you feel even with all the weird masks and the infinite barriers. We're akin, and you should trust me a lil' bit more. Pleeease?
I like this place, I don't know why. It could be said that a part of me waits a whole year until August comes again, just so I can be there. It gives me a weird sensation that's both good and bad...
—Why should I?
—Oh... because... I can help find that which you've been looking for so eagerly.
—And what is it that I'm looking for?
—Well...
She whispers the words in my ears.
—Ah, and YOU can help me finding that?
—Sure!
—I guess we'll have to work on that later.
—So what now?
I look to the sky. The moon is there. I used to say think that "at least the sky is still there for us". Never had I trully understood what did that phrase really mean, I just wanted to say it as a mean of not feeling alone. I like the fact that she doesn't speak when I'm deeply lost thinking, as if she could understand this.
People running around, looks fun.
We're still there, sitting at the stairs. I turn to face her.
—You're not saying anything?
—Ah, I... no. I was just thinking.
—I see.
We look at the gate ahead. People coming in, people going out...
—Hey, be useful.
I lay my head on her lap. That's what normally has to be said before I do it, she seems a bit surprised. Still, we're there at the stairs, amidst all the chaos of the festival.
—You wanted adrenaline, didn't you?
—What do you mean?
—Well, I know that you always come here waiting for something incredible to happen. But it never does, not even today.
—You can't win them all, right?
—Yeah...
—And it's good already.
Those happy and slow songs... I suppose they call it Bon Odori... that sensation...
Neither good or bad after all I guess. Just different.
—They're gone now, everyone went to the dancing place.
—Huh?
—Nothing, it doesn't matter.
—Even if they were here...
—...We're invisible.
—As expected.
Good to be here.
quinta-feira, 4 de agosto de 2011
Despair Heights
Hard to breath, huh?
A bit.
...
WHAT THE FUCK IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO?!
...Hm? What? Well, I don't know...
I have this... problem. I get... very... lost, in times of important decisions. I tend give them a hecka lot more importante than I should. Shit. I hate missing.
I'd rant and complain as I'm doing inside my head. But it's worthless. Gotta just trust that things are changing, they are, right?
If there's no fucking right answer, just choose one and dive into darkness. No regrets. No regrets...
I see all these faces screaming. The sounds... sometimes just rapid noises, sometimes whole songs that bring that agony. The despair in their faces. The lack of hope in the air...
I can't do much against being in Despair Heights, albeit hating this place. There's a soft repeating nervously ''You're not alone you're not alone you're not alone...". There's people walking by my side, some give me their hand. I ain't dying in here...
Sometimes I wish there could be someone out there to just stay by my side and pass her hand through my hair while we watch this poorly illuminated night.
I'd rather remain silent to speaking what I want right now. I'm too weak at these times.
I would also like to say that reading thy story makes me calm when I get back to Despair Heights. Through your records I've gotten the information that you like to know you were important to people. Well, consider this as being important to me, even if you don't really know me or know if I actually exist. It isn't such a major importance I guess, but, even if it is just a tiny bit, you helped.
Yet, I speak. Damn.
A bit.
...
WHAT THE FUCK IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO?!
...Hm? What? Well, I don't know...
I have this... problem. I get... very... lost, in times of important decisions. I tend give them a hecka lot more importante than I should. Shit. I hate missing.
I'd rant and complain as I'm doing inside my head. But it's worthless. Gotta just trust that things are changing, they are, right?
If there's no fucking right answer, just choose one and dive into darkness. No regrets. No regrets...
I see all these faces screaming. The sounds... sometimes just rapid noises, sometimes whole songs that bring that agony. The despair in their faces. The lack of hope in the air...
I can't do much against being in Despair Heights, albeit hating this place. There's a soft repeating nervously ''You're not alone you're not alone you're not alone...". There's people walking by my side, some give me their hand. I ain't dying in here...
Sometimes I wish there could be someone out there to just stay by my side and pass her hand through my hair while we watch this poorly illuminated night.
I'd rather remain silent to speaking what I want right now. I'm too weak at these times.
I would also like to say that reading thy story makes me calm when I get back to Despair Heights. Through your records I've gotten the information that you like to know you were important to people. Well, consider this as being important to me, even if you don't really know me or know if I actually exist. It isn't such a major importance I guess, but, even if it is just a tiny bit, you helped.
Yet, I speak. Damn.
quarta-feira, 3 de agosto de 2011
Memory
I like horror movies, and creepy stories... somehow they look so interesting. Or as I normally say, better than the real world. I kinda miss the days when I was scared of them. Good times. Even then, I still like watching these movies nowadays. Specially those with an ambience that inspires dread.
I suppose they are going to be my companions through vacation. I believe they can keep me distracted.
Distracted...
Because recently I remembered why did I choose not to trust anymore. She came back, deep inside I knew she would. But there was that doubt, anyway. I guess it would have been better if she didn't appear ever again.
Fucking liars...
They REALLY think asking for apologies will change anything?! Am I the only one with memory in here? I guess they are really dumb then.
Haha, and she forgot about it, I've never hid this, since we had a deal. I am extremely rancorous, and this ain't passing easily. WHY SHOULD IT ANYWAY?
She lied, she broke the deal. And now she expects to come back saying "I'm sorry"? I'M SORRY?! Haha. My dear, you've gotta bleed first. I want to see your suffering, there's no forgivingness allowed until there's sacrifice. I normally would simply try to look at the other side and accept your invitation. But not this time, I know you bitches want to kill me. But I'll kill you first. Gotta bleed if you want something.
Want to see me? So come and try again, and if I feel you're sad enough, then we can get to an agreement. I know my humongous desire for revenge can take me down instead of you, so I'm not sticking to my egregious desire of seeing you suffer. I accept your request if YOU go for it. I'm not sacrificing myself for this, not anymore. Not worthy. I still want to talk to you, but you have to come after me. If you really want it, then I want to see YOUR effort this time.
But you're predictable.
As many other girls out there. So sad. Whores...
That reminds me why did I choose to stay alone. So, if you really want to see me, try again. I'm craving a chance to bruise you personally.
And to think that I was forgetting such things...
So, I really need distractions. Got something for me to do?
I suppose they are going to be my companions through vacation. I believe they can keep me distracted.
Distracted...
Because recently I remembered why did I choose not to trust anymore. She came back, deep inside I knew she would. But there was that doubt, anyway. I guess it would have been better if she didn't appear ever again.
Fucking liars...
They REALLY think asking for apologies will change anything?! Am I the only one with memory in here? I guess they are really dumb then.
Haha, and she forgot about it, I've never hid this, since we had a deal. I am extremely rancorous, and this ain't passing easily. WHY SHOULD IT ANYWAY?
She lied, she broke the deal. And now she expects to come back saying "I'm sorry"? I'M SORRY?! Haha. My dear, you've gotta bleed first. I want to see your suffering, there's no forgivingness allowed until there's sacrifice. I normally would simply try to look at the other side and accept your invitation. But not this time, I know you bitches want to kill me. But I'll kill you first. Gotta bleed if you want something.
Want to see me? So come and try again, and if I feel you're sad enough, then we can get to an agreement. I know my humongous desire for revenge can take me down instead of you, so I'm not sticking to my egregious desire of seeing you suffer. I accept your request if YOU go for it. I'm not sacrificing myself for this, not anymore. Not worthy. I still want to talk to you, but you have to come after me. If you really want it, then I want to see YOUR effort this time.
But you're predictable.
As many other girls out there. So sad. Whores...
That reminds me why did I choose to stay alone. So, if you really want to see me, try again. I'm craving a chance to bruise you personally.
And to think that I was forgetting such things...
So, I really need distractions. Got something for me to do?
Assinar:
Postagens (Atom)